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Passions in Poetry

The Poetry Reading....OMG! free verse from the Balladeer!

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Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


0 posted 06-10-2000 07:13 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

( inspired by a poetry reading I attended today)

The poetry reading had begun.
Prim ladies dressed in proper attire
light blue or yellow dresses
hair tied neatly in buns
just the right amount of jewelry
stopping just short of flashy
fingernails manicured
expertly painted
sitting atop blue-veined backhands
rouge evenly applied

reading poems of butterflies
and lost loves
to men attired in three-piece suits
Giovanni ties
hair combed over from side to side
in vain attempt to make
one long hair
cover the entire head
shoes brightly polished
over black silk stockings
Rolex keeping time with
the rythym of the poem.

I sat.
My time machine mind
traveling back thirty years
transforming the speaker
into a sandal-footed
long hair to waist
skirt down to ankles
fingering love beads
broad-rimmed glasses sitting
atop upturned nose
child of the 60's
Virginia Slims cigarette
(you've come a long way, baby)
dangling from blue-painted fingers
Gloria Steinham style.

Butterfly poem transformed into
make love - not war
ban the bomb
equal rights for all
hell no...we won't go
fist militarily raised
two fingers V'd in defiance
'No Vietnamese ever called me nigger'
Attitude behind blazing eyes
foot-stomping
fist-banging
child of the times
looking for Mr. Goodbar
and Joe Dimaggio.

At the exit she noticed me
sockless tonged feet
patched blue-jean shorts
under raggedy Iron Butterfly t-shirt
(in a gadda-da-vida baby)
long, uncombed hair
rabble-rousing rhetoric
swirling about my head
like an angry cloud
hiding a beater-than-thou attitude.

We shook hands
muttered "Nice poem"
and
for just a brief second
the daughter of Aquarius
and Allen Ginsberg
made time stand still.


[This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 06-10-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Lost Dreamer
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since 06-20-99
Posts 2589
Normal, Illinois


1 posted 06-10-2000 07:20 PM       View Profile for Lost Dreamer   Email Lost Dreamer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lost Dreamer

Sir Balladeer, This is totally awesome, I love it.  
Dr.Moose1
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since 09-05-99
Posts 3505
Bewilderment , USA


2 posted 06-10-2000 07:40 PM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

I totally agree,you should do this more often!
Doc
doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


3 posted 06-10-2000 07:49 PM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

I think i've quoted almost the whole poem here below... michael... you are a natural for free verse... this is excellent imagery along with a hard smack of truth YES!! and goddmammit... this is really really really good, m'friend... you have painted a picture with your words, vividly, concisely, succinctly.... and i was just there with you as i read it... you are a gifted poet... you can do the genres... all of them... in style...

-doreen

these lines below were particularly fascinating and engaging...!

"fingernails manicured
expertly painted
sitting atop blue-veined backhands
rouge evenly applied"

"Rolex keeping time with
the rythym of the poem."

"hair combed over from side to side
in vain attempt to make
one long hair
cover the entire head"

"'No Vietnamese ever called me nigger'
Attitude behind blazing eyes
foot-stompiong
fist-banging
child of the times
looking for Mr. Goodbar
and Joe Dimaggio."

"At the exit she noticed me
sockless tonged feet
patched blue-jean shorts
under raggedy Iron Butterfly t-shirt
(in a gadda-da-vida baby)
long, uncombed hair
rabble-rousing rhetoric
swirling about my head
like an angry cloud
hiding a beater-than-thou attitude."
Marge Tindal
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since 11-06-1999
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Florida's Foreverly Shores


4 posted 06-10-2000 08:03 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Balladeer~
Everything you write is fantastic !
I applaud this one.
My stars !  Won't Kamla be tickled ?
It is positively marvelously done.

'for just a brief second
the daughter of Aquarius
and Allen Ginsberg
made time stand still'

Perfect ending !
Love ya'
~*Marge*~




 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Kit McCallum
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since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


5 posted 06-10-2000 08:35 PM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

Incredibly well penned Baladeer ... so full of imagery, I feel like I was there.  A little "too" real, for I fear I now have the tune "this is the dawning of the age of Aquarious ...." stuck and rolling about my head!)  Really well done!

Best wishes,
/Kit
Butterflies_dont_cry
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since 03-06-2000
Posts 3768
Michigan


6 posted 06-10-2000 09:27 PM       View Profile for Butterflies_dont_cry   Email Butterflies_dont_cry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Butterflies_dont_cry

`Dear
You shine well in any light, making the words
dance upon a structured page or one that is
Free   Thank you for sharing this~
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


7 posted 06-10-2000 10:32 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

I was hooked beginning to end.  Vivid picture here, albeit in tie-dye.  

--Kess


 YOUR LIFE IS A TEST

It is only a test ...

If this were your Actual Life, you would have been given better instructions!

Jeffrey Carter
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since 04-08-2000
Posts 2424
State of constant confusion!


8 posted 06-10-2000 11:44 PM       View Profile for Jeffrey Carter   Email Jeffrey Carter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jeffrey Carter

Sir, You are a poetic GOD!!!!!

 All my love,
Jeffrey

I lie awake in a world filled with dreams,
but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


9 posted 06-10-2000 11:45 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

YOU ROCK!!!!!!!
need i say more *smile*
awesome--YOU ARE
later cool-poet-gator
jm

 And it's good that I'm not angry,
I just need to get over,
I'm not angry, anymore
Cry when you cry,
run when you run,
love when you love,
represent the ashes
that you leave behind
~MB20~

"What the caterpillar calls the end ...
The world calls a butterfly"
~Lao Tze Tao~
~Butterflies are meant to be free~


First__Knight
Senior Member
since 11-08-1999
Posts 688


10 posted 06-10-2000 11:46 PM       View Profile for First__Knight   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for First__Knight

Oh boy oh boy did I like this one.....Please share more  

 It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

X Angel
Senior Member
since 11-07-1999
Posts 1592
Oregon


11 posted 06-11-2000 12:50 AM       View Profile for X Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for X Angel

GRRR Now I see this post in the new forum rofl
*sigh*
Well 'Deer ya got yerself a post from me bout this lil FV attempt of yours....... look here in OP 8 eh?
~Heather
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


12 posted 06-11-2000 01:23 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

I want to sincerely thank you all for your comments and encouragement. These are definitely untested waters for me and I don't feel too secure when straying from my familiar rhyming surroundings.

I want to write free verse like LngJhn (of course, he happens to be trying to write rhyming poetry when he does it!)

Oh, and Kess.....





TIE-DYE RULES!!!



[This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 06-11-2000).]
Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley


13 posted 06-11-2000 01:30 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

*sigh!* A balladeer of renowned talent! I love it. Tie dye and all.....  
Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


14 posted 06-11-2000 08:37 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

The imagery, the sound, the snapping of fingers, the coffee in the air, that smell in the air...that smell, what is that smell?

Truly, 'Deer, I'm a "little" young but know whatof and whereof you speak...

and I will certainly look forward to more forays into the world of Balladeer-Free-Verse...

Hugs,

 Sunshine

~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller ~~~

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


15 posted 06-11-2000 10:36 AM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Always a little uncomfy when we go into unchartered territory isn't it?

But, you've done a fantastic job and you'd never know you weren't comfortable at writing free verse!

Peace man!    Very well set in imagery, and it took us back. That Aquarius song is playing in my head too  
Munda
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since 10-08-1999
Posts 3629
The Hague, The Netherlands


16 posted 06-11-2000 10:41 AM       View Profile for Munda   Email Munda   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Munda's Home Page   View IP for Munda

No matter what form you write your poetry in, it is always excellent !
SpitFire
Member Elite
since 04-19-2000
Posts 2428


17 posted 06-11-2000 11:13 AM       View Profile for SpitFire   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SpitFire

~Oh I loved this.  Picked me right up and took me with it.  Great job...great flow of thoughts....superbly done freestyle here.  Keep 'em coming. Thanks for the read. Take care. *Peace.
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


18 posted 06-11-2000 01:06 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Thanks for sharing this...allowing me to experience it too...excellent!!!
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


19 posted 06-11-2000 02:03 PM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

Awesome, I'd say one of your best, Balladeer.

Corinne
Alicat
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since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


20 posted 06-11-2000 04:32 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

Mike...DAMN!!!!

For a first attempt, I am frankly amazed...this was awesome...and yeah, I'm old enough, barely, to not only catch but also to understand your imagery...WOW!!!


Alicat, in awe of Balladeer
Andrew Scott
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since 06-24-99
Posts 2655
Redlands,CA,USA


21 posted 06-11-2000 06:51 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

Yo Sir Balladeer... you are in the groove, if not its very essence.  I must say that though your rhyme is the hippest in the land, freedom of verse becomes you.  I was only six in the year of Woodstock, so I don't have much reference… but I remember watching the war and the protests on TV, and I'm very much into the sound of the era.  You did a great job with this one and I could see the thing unfold through your words… a true mark of excellence.  Really liked the way you ended it all.  Peace Brother!

PS… Dig the Ti-Di!
Nan
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since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


22 posted 06-12-2000 07:43 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

PIECE and LUV... my friend... You're awesome, of course...
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 04-06-2000
Posts 10553


23 posted 06-12-2000 09:07 AM       View Profile for Irish Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irish Rose

This shone brighter than Edison's light bulb and remember I was there, I've been around forever! You are a talented storyteller and that ain't no bull!

 Kathleen

"How do I love thee? Let
me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace." Elizabeth Barrett Browning


Sudhir Iyer
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since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


24 posted 06-12-2000 09:43 AM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

Sheer Class, Balladeer...

I am glad that I read this one...

Regards, sudhir
 
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