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Open Poetry #8
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She.
| Open Poetry #8 |
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She. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland 
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I was incognito on her arrival, in a merry little oblivion of alcohol. She spoke words to me of no consequence, playing carefully the charade, reeling me in to fall upon her. I obeyed my petty instincts, a slave of desire's request. Her hands against my skin stroke fruits of the surface. She cares not for all my beauty or worth beneath. Held against her secure in affection, This is love I know, the empty reality denied. Suffocate the voices of doubt on her breast. A kiss of passion can not be faked. Perhaps she wanted and I faltered, unable to read the signs, the minute gestures, whispers and words left unspoken. Only alone can I understand voices of communication. Drown into the shadows of her curls as a child needing only sanction. Her hands in wicked foreplay soil the perfect bliss, hearts tainted. Please don't make me work for this, It is so hard to hide inexperience or fake it naked. Drain my nerve to approve this love, eyes to the ceiling tangled in desire and stifled moral. ------------------------ "I've been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else"-Richey Edwards "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "Libraries gave us power Then work came and made us free What price now for a shallow piece of dignity" Nicky Wire, A design for Life. manic street preachers "Outside open mouthed crowds Pass each other as if they're drugged Down pale corridors of routine Where life falls unatoned " "To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E Cummings. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"Drown into the shadows of her curls as a child needing only sanction. Her hands in wicked foreplay soil the perfect bliss, hearts tainted. " WOW Brian! Amazing words ... deep thoughts, I liked this a lot! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Indeed a great poem Brian. "Only alone can I understand voices of communication" This line really 'spoke' to me.  |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Sir, you write some of the most powerfully emotional pieces I've ever read! This thing - wow - what to say. I read it over twice, and the last line is like the perfect way to wrap it up. I read it as almost the viewpoint of a vulnerable man, which, it's usually the other way around. "eyes to the ceiling tangled in desire and stifled moral..." WOW You sir, are a magnificent writer! I love every piece of yours I read! I am always so overwhelmed as to what to even say to them! Bravo!!! |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
You said it well, Brian. Elizabeth I'm grabbing my hat and coat I'm leaving the cat a note Quick call me a ferry boat-getting out of town! |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Very nicely expressed Brian  Coco |
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Trew Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Ottawa, Canada |
You definitely captured the male perspective. Excellent writing, Brian. |
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Yoly New Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 1 |
I enjoyed your piece. |
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nando Member
since 2000-06-09
Posts 87Vaxjo, Smaland, Sweden |
This was a really good poem Brian... "She spoke words to me of no consequence, playing carefully the charade, reeling me in to fall upon her." I especially liked this part, reminds me of someone I used to know... Deep thougths from a deep heart my friend, loved every word... -nando- Ask me how to live your life, and this to you I´ll say: make your choises true and wise, so that when tomorrow will arise, you´ll smile at yesterday... |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Thanks for your wonderful response Kit. I guess I am one of those people who needs the deeper meaning to things and she wasn't. Munda, thanks for wonderful reply. "Only alone can I understand voices of communication" it describes me very well. I am terrible at small talk especially in clubs, my voice is always drown by the music. maybe I should be cards and a pen lol. PoetFemmeFatale. WOW Thanks, those words mean a lot to me. "a vulnerable man" I would say sensitive,I knew what was happening and part of me wanted it but the larger part wanted something more, wanted emotion, wanted love and it was not there. The whole thing was laboured I just can't fake passion. Anyway thank you for your wonderful response. I am blushing here. Elizabeth, thanks for reading and for your wonderful response. Cocobaci, Thanks for your lovely reply. Trew thanks for reading and responding. It just goes to show not all men are mainly interested in feeding their lust. Or maybe I am the exception to the rule. LOL Yoly thank you for reading and for your lovely response. Nando thank you for your wonderful reply, glad you liked the poem. ------------------------ "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E Cummings. Faster- manic street preachers I am an architect, they call me a butcher I am a pioneer, they call me primitive I am purity, they call me perverted Holding you but I only miss these things when they leave I am idiot drug hive, the virgin, the tattered and the torn Life is for the cold made warm and they are just lizards Self-disgust is self-obsession honey and I do as I please A morality obedient, only to the cleansed repented *I am stronger than Mensa, Miller and Mailer I spat out Plath and Pinter I am all the things that you regret A truth that washes that learnt how to spell The first time you see yourself naked you cry Soft skin now acne, foul breath, so broken He loves me truly this mute solitude I'm draining I know I believe in othing but it is my nothing Sleep can't hide the thoughts splitting through my mind Shadows aren't clean, false mirrors too many people awake If you stand up like a nail then you will be knocked down I've been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else * chorus So damn easy to cave in, man kills everything (x4) ----- |
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Lorraine Nisbet Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 218Jersey City, NJ USA |
Brian~ Great poem!! Well done!! ~Lorraine A great poet is nothing more....than a discovered amateur |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Held against her secure in affection, This is love I know, the empty reality denied. Suffocate the voices of doubt on her breast. A kiss of passion can not be faked. Perhaps she wanted and I faltered, unable to read the signs, the minute gestures, whispers and words left unspoken. Only alone can I understand voices of communication. Drown into the shadows of her curls as a child needing only sanction. Her hands in wicked foreplay soil the perfect bliss, hearts tainted. Please don't make me work for this, It is so hard to hide inexperience or fake it naked. Drain my nerve to approve this love, eyes to the ceiling tangled in desire and stifled moral. --------------- you awe and amaze me again Bri... you have such depth ... and write with such intensity... this is excellent writing and the honesty and emotions of the words are perfection. later-prophet gator eve  And it's good that I'm not angry, I just need to get over, I'm not angry, anymore Cry when you cry, run when you run, love when you love, represent the ashes that you leave behind ~MB20~ "What the caterpillar calls the end ... The world calls a butterfly" ~Lao Tze Tao~ ~Butterflies are meant to be free~ |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Brian,...I think this is my third time reading this. I think you are special. . I love this poem,...your work. This is a deep and heartfelt piece...so respect you for your choices made....you're going with your true feelings and not letting obscurities get in the way. Take care friend. *Peace. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Lorraine thanks for your lovely reply. Jan, thanks if you could see me blushing. just writing from the heart same as you. thanks for your wonderful reply. Spitfire, thank you for your comments and insight. I acted on instinct, and let it decide my actions but a large of part of me was aware of the emptiness of my actions. I think in this case I sedated my true feelings, and betrayed a part of myself. My heart was moral but my body was not. Thank you for your wonderful reply and reading the poem. ------------------------ "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E Cummings. manic street preachers "Culture Alienation Borebom and Despair" "I know I believe in nothing but it is my nothing" -faster MSP "And you see, I kind of shiver to conformity Did you see, the way I cower to authority, you see And my life, it's a series of compromises anyway It's a sham, and I'm conditioned to accept it all, you see" six by Paul Draper. ----- |
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