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Teen Poetry #3
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Somewhere Other Than Home
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Somewhere Other Than Home |
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HiddenSparklez Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 190British Columbia, Canada |
Hey guys, as you can see I'm new, but I'm trying to get into the flow of things. So here's my first poem post in here... hope it's not too bad. Somewhere Other Than Home I need something new I need something other than here I just want to run away I can no longer stay Its just a constant reminder Every time I walk down my own street I want to see the unfortunate Just sit there and wait I need a different atmosphere I need it challenging Something that would be scary Something absolutely crazy I know I can live a better life I know I can do better I need silence From the pain, the words, the violence I've tried too hard I'm bound to rot here I need a place where I can let myself go A place where I can let my other side show Call me crazy, but I know it's for the best Something upside down will help me Help me feel the pain the lonely endure It's my own remedy that works for sure |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
very good first post you'll get better as you write more i liked the idea of change change is good keep writing! best wishes ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
"Call me crazy, but I know it's for the best Something upside down will help me Help me feel the pain the lonely endure It's my own remedy that works for sure" "I wouldn't call you crazy!! Variety is the spice of life" ~ I heard that somewhere... I don't know where Nice job on this poem "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Greetings, my fellow "Junior Member!" ^_^ I was completely intrigued with the idea behind this poem... that you think that it is best to escape from your home to solve the problem. "It's my own remedy that works for sure" Hmm... your own remedy. A nice choice of words. Great poem. The rhyme scheme compliments the theme of the poem nicely. I hope to see more of your work in here! I like your style! |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
Nice peice... escaping can often be the right thing... I went for a holiday a few months ago for a break, but it wasn't to be the best, I had a great time, but I felt I was running away from my problems... make sure it is the right thing to do before you run!! Melz!! Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Hey, very good first poem you've posted!!  Sometimes change is good, sometimes not, but you'll never know unless you try. Of course, if you're going to change into a violent serial killer, don't do that. If you already are one, please, please change! Ok, sorry, I get carried away sometimes."Help me feel the pain the lonely endure It's my own remedy that works for sure" Just why is that you want to feel that pain? "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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HiddenSparklez Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 190British Columbia, Canada |
Thanks guys for your comments. Lakewalker, i dont really know why, but when i wrote that poem i was pretty much suicidal, but don't worry i don't plan on doing anything anytime soon. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was great. Don't run away though, and don't kill yourself. Bad bad  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
I liked this poem a lot..im glad that u decided to start submitting some of your own poetry. Keep em comin ok?? |
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Wicced_Witch Member
since 2000-02-06
Posts 110Clarksville, TN, USA |
Great poem...Change can be good. I really look forward to reading more from you. Keep up the good work, Steff |
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