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Teen Poetry #3
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CareBear3
Junior Member
since 2000-11-20
Posts 39
New Hampshire

0 posted 2001-01-03 07:16 PM




In every second that passes
new questions whirl throughout my mind.

A tornado of thoughts and opinions dancing together
of all movements, all shapes, and all kinds.

The eagerness I feel to express my desires,
the fear that holds me back.

The unexplainable courage,
I feel I seem to lack.

The way I want to tell you
every emotion that I feel.

The way I want to show you
that my visions aren’t surreal.

The way I dream of the future,
the way you want me to be.

The way you express your wishes,
of what you want from me.

All become grouped together,
in a pot of inhibition.

Hindering my plan,
and diminishing my ambition.

I wish for once you’d listen,
not just hear but comprehend.

And trust I’ll make the right decision,
when it comes together in the end.

I know you do this cause you love me,
but let me make mistakes.

For through those many problems,
in life I’ll find my place.  



"In great moments life seems neither right nor wrong but something greater it seems inevitable"

~Kelley

© Copyright 2001 Kelley - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2001-01-03 07:49 PM


This was nice, I liked it. Keep the posting.


I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
2 posted 2001-01-03 07:50 PM


Right on... Just love it! gonna put it in my library... Keep it up!

~*Rhonda

"I am Canadian" - Joe
If you set limitations upon yourself, it's no wonder you fall short of your dreams - Rhonda J. Adolph

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
3 posted 2001-01-03 08:18 PM


it was really good. had a nice flow. powerful emotions
Regina

Greeneyes617
Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 329
Arkansas
4 posted 2001-01-03 08:33 PM


Great poem.Keep up the good work.

DreamerGrl27
Member
since 2000-10-29
Posts 142

5 posted 2001-01-03 08:46 PM


I really liked this...you have a lot of talent. I loved how you talked about tornados of thoughts and emotions. My favorite part was this though:
The way I want to tell you
every emotion that I feel.
The way I want to show you
that my visions aren’t surreal

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
6 posted 2001-01-03 10:52 PM


good visions portrayed here
i liked:
"The way I want to tell you
every emotion that I feel.

The way I want to show you
that my visions aren’t surreal."

graet job
best wishes

~JDR


"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde

mikeykrazy
Junior Member
since 2000-12-20
Posts 37
U.S.A
7 posted 2001-01-03 11:59 PM


this was a grate poem and i love the flow of it all... strong emotions here keep posting

thing happen in life that just need a poem. then ther poems just for the heack of it.

DYME
Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 104
Texas
8 posted 2001-01-04 12:10 PM


VERY DEEP. IT WAS WOUNDERFUL. I WAS REALLY FEELING THIS ONE. YOU KNEW EXACTLY HOW YOU FELT.

DYME


NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER... ISAIAH 54:17

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
9 posted 2001-01-04 12:50 PM


Hey,
Good job of expressing all of this!

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Suga_Baby
Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380
Maine, USA
10 posted 2001-01-04 03:03 PM


This was really cute, way to get it all out! This was my fave part: "I wish for once you’d listen,/not just hear but comprehend." Good work  
Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
11 posted 2001-01-04 03:35 PM


To put it quite simply--
Great poem!

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