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Teen Poetry #3
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sherm
Member
since 2000-07-21
Posts 94
Evansville,IN

0 posted 2001-01-01 01:20 PM


last night feels like a dream
like it didnt happen at all
but not from a magic midnight kiss
or from us having a ball

it feels like that cause i ruined it
made your night a stupid mess
i just screw everything up
and give your life stress

i should have been kissing you
but i was hugging the toilet bowl
so some other guy got to instead
and filled your heart's hole

and now all those idiot strangers
will think i dont treat you right
but i guess they aren't far off
after everything last night

now you probably hate me
im afraid im losing my grip
cause i know i hate myself
God, please dont let my fingers slip

i can only say im sorry
but i know thats not enough
im just a stupid loser
afraid of losing my diamond in the rough

© Copyright 2001 Geoff A. Anderson - All Rights Reserved
DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
1 posted 2001-01-01 01:56 PM


wow...im gonna make an assumption that's probably way out there...but is this about New Years?> lol im so afraid im waay off, but dont be so hard on yourself. everyone slips up sometime, this is fixable. trust me..im a girl. and unless she was going through something tramatizing and you were too busy pukin then maybe it'll be a lil harder...but other then that dont worry to much. it'll be alright!  

*dq


¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤

branden726
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607
Bay City, MI
2 posted 2001-01-01 03:00 PM


wow pretty dang good here, wow this was wonderful piece and i hope you dont loose your grip.     good writting

"i just love when you bring your whole crew because its just a bigger piece of cake for me to chew threw"



Virgil
Junior Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 43
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
3 posted 2001-01-01 03:23 PM


Cool ending...diamonds in the rough...makes my brain all...tingly...hoohoohoo!!

"By other ways, by other ferries, not here, shalt thou pass over: a lighter boat must carry thee."

"I AM CANADIAN!!"

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
4 posted 2001-01-01 04:26 PM


oooh... this one was pretty good but sad, I hope you can get back your ground and everything turns out okay.

~JDR

"A writer doesn't acquire a vacancy of mind, but rather a inadequacy of words." - Jeremy D. Raulinaitis

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-01-01 09:26 PM


Wow this was sad.......made me feel all bad.......good poem...not many can do that to me. post more dude.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
6 posted 2001-01-02 12:43 PM


Love the way you got it all out on paper... felt like I was the one experiencing it. Show it to her... Apologize... if she's forgiving, she'll accept you back if she knows you mean it. Sorry that had to happen.

~*Skyfire

"I am Canadian" - Joe
If you set limitations upon yourself, it's no wonder you fall short of your dreams - Rhonda J. Adolph

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
7 posted 2001-01-02 08:11 PM


DQs reply just cracked me up    But i do agree with her though, don't give up, you probably still could fix it.  We're not perfect.  keep your head up

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR


Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
8 posted 2001-01-03 06:18 PM


I hope things can be worked out, just give it time.  Communication is the key, just make sure she knows how you feel.  Things will probably be fine.  Great job of expressing the scene and feelings of the poem.

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

9 posted 2001-01-03 10:18 PM


Well, it's a great poem, and seeing my current mood, it's a very sweet appology poem.  All I can say is expect complaining and expect it to be rough, but don't loose hope.  Good luck!!  Keep us updated aye?
Bel

Greeneyes617
Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 329
Arkansas
10 posted 2001-01-04 03:09 AM


Great poem.......In a way it seemed very sweet.....but I guess that just me....Good job.
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