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Teen Poetry #3
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Skyfire
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since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding

0 posted 2000-12-30 08:39 PM


Please don't ever leave me,
Please don't ever go.
You said you'd stay forever,
But you think I'm just too low.
I haven't done anything to you,
Haven't cheated, nor have I lied.
So why this unknown rule,
By now I must abide?
I didn't commit a single crime,
For what wrong was I hit?
I don't know why I feel this way,
The names you called me now seem to fir.
I'm not going to apologize,
I still did noting bad.
I've decided I must leave you,
Although it makes me sad.


**I wrote this last year. It has nothing to do with my current relationship, so don't worry!  

© Copyright 2000 Rhonda Adolph - All Rights Reserved
Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
1 posted 2000-12-30 09:18 PM


its good, well that didnt seem like a great  relationship. good poem though.hope to see more.
Regina

branden726
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Senior Member
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607
Bay City, MI
2 posted 2000-12-30 09:52 PM


Whoa, good poem i like it a lot keep up the writing and im glad it has nothing to do with your current realationship.

"i just love when you bring your whole crew because its just a bigger piece of cake for me to chew threw"



Alwye
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Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
3 posted 2000-12-31 12:28 PM


A powerful piece here and a positive ending. Well done, I enjoyed!  

*Krista Knutson*

I'm a slow dying flower
In a frost-killing hour
The sweet turning sour and untouchable...
-Natalie Merchant

DreamerGrl27
Member
since 2000-10-29
Posts 142

4 posted 2000-12-31 12:32 PM


I'm glad to hear that this isnt going on now and that its over with. I really liked the poem, it flowed really well. It was a good ending that you didnt put up with everything and that you left, because no guy is worth your tears and the ones that are wont make you cry.
Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2000-12-31 02:16 AM


Nice one and im glad that this has nothing to do with the now's...........leave that in the past.........anyway hope to see more.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


Jenn Cirrincione
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since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
6 posted 2000-12-31 01:36 PM


This was really good. Don't ever let that happen to you! Us girls don't always think so highly of ourselves, but we never deserve a guy like that, never deserve abuse. good luck with your current guy!
xoxo
Jenn


"A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ??


xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
7 posted 2000-12-31 08:38 PM


Im really really glad to hear that this wasnt something that you were actually going through. Not only should people not have to deal with stuff like this but if you do its an awful thing to go through. It was a very good poem though...i liked it a lot. Good job hun  I hope your never actually in a situation like this tho =o)

Melster
Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442
Brisbane, Qld, Australia
8 posted 2001-01-01 01:51 AM


I am glad that you have moved on from this relationship...  it is always hard to let go of something you do or did once feel so strong towards...  Great post though and keep up the great work!!

Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly

IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

9 posted 2001-01-02 11:44 AM


I really liked the tittle and the angle you took on this poem.  Thanks for sharing
Jason

"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN
~Hatebreed~

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
10 posted 2001-01-03 01:19 PM


I think everyone else pretty much said it all, so "ditto" to them all

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

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