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Teen Poetry #3
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kimmy
Member
since 2000-07-31
Posts 98


0 posted 2000-12-29 12:23 PM


Slowly slipping into darkness
False accusations shortly rising
Falling from endless decisions

Crossroads meet at a point
Climbing slightly over the ledge
Collapsing at the beginning

Candles wick fading lightly
Dripping melted onto the floor
Carefully watching everything dying

All alone in a room of people
Standing, sitting in invisibility
Overlooking the world spin

On one knee the adventurer fallen
Breathless, grasping the ground
No one can save a hopeless soul

Brightness overcomes the eyes
Crying through lifetime of sorrow
Forgetting happiness never found

Pictures frozen of memorable moments
Lost amongst times of hardship
Mirror images mean so much more

Together last feelings collide
Mixed emotions seem to subside
Dazed and confused bleakly staring

Unto the phase of pure selflessness
Pludging to secrets unrevealed
Punctured by those thought loved

In fields of flowing sadness
Lost amongst the weeds
Tears crashing of worthlessness

Slowly slipping into darkness
Open to the world around
Tumbling from the empty sky.



© Copyright 2000 kimmy - All Rights Reserved
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
1 posted 2000-12-29 07:41 AM


Powerful emotions flow through these lines Kimmy ... beautifully written in a style that flows very nicely with the sorrow behind the words ... very well done.

Best wishes and hugs to you,
/Kit

DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
2 posted 2000-12-29 01:06 PM


awesome awesome awesome...u sure have a talent that i wish i had! You better keep writing  

*dq


¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
3 posted 2000-12-29 01:19 PM


i envy your talent.....i see you don't post much often, i think you should share more    i'd love to read your other poems  

BRAVO!!!

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR


HiddenSparklez
Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 190
British Columbia, Canada
4 posted 2000-12-29 02:05 PM


Great poem, u had me on the edge of my seat after the first line =)
jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
5 posted 2000-12-29 02:05 PM


this is really well written, i enjoed it!

~JDR

"A writer doesn't acquire a vacancy of mind, but rather a inadequacy of words." - Jeremy D. Raulinaitis

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
6 posted 2000-12-29 04:12 PM


I thought this flowed well, it's very well done!

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2000-12-29 05:46 PM


I'm going to have to echo everybody else. Well done on this piece.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
8 posted 2000-12-30 12:41 PM


This was such a powerful poem...your words had such meaning to them..i liked it a lot..keep it up....

Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
9 posted 2000-12-31 03:06 PM


Good job, Kimmy. Sounds like you feel a little like I've been feeling recently. good luck to you.
xoxo
Jenn


"A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ??


Melster
Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442
Brisbane, Qld, Australia
10 posted 2001-01-01 03:50 AM


GREAT WORK...  as everyone has said!!

Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly

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