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Teen Poetry #3
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Fireplace: Haiku
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Fireplace: Haiku |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI 
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Kay, here's my try at Lakewalker's famous challenge. fIrEpLaCe Eyes lost within flame symphony of heat and light coals burn my silence |
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| © Copyright 2000 Carly Anne Van Dort - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
This is really good, there's not many haikus on this site  . I'm a little confused as to Lakewalkers challenge.....good job tho! Bel |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Very beautiful Haiku! I could picture the flame perfectly. Well done! *Krista Knutson* I'm a slow dying flower In a frost-killing hour The sweet turning sour and untouchable... -Natalie Merchant |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
im impressed..this was a very good first attempt....well done and i look forward to reading more  |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
Great work... this challenge is really catching on it must be contagious!! Melz!! Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
Great job Carly. I think this was wonderful "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Thanks peeps for the replies ~Carly WhY ShOuLd I Be hypnotized by someone else's lies WhY ShOuLd I Take time and pride in what someone else believes... |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
wow, awesome work! haikus are pretty fun. jeremy r "A writer doesn't acquire a vacancy of mind, but rather a inadequacy of words." - Jeremy D. Raulinaitis |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
outstanding...one of the best haikus i've read in passions...keep em coming you are very talented  I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Awesome job, I could see it all and the last line, great. Bel: (I dunno if she'll read this but oh well) in the Teen Explorer forum I had a post challenging people to write in the form of a haiku or senryu. I'd say Carly has certainly met the challenge "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wow this was deep and powerful. Wonderful haiku carly!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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