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Teen Poetry #3
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DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA

0 posted 2000-12-27 04:26 PM


hey guys   Well here's my poor attempt at a song ...

And I Cry

You used to fill my heart's emtpy void
you were everything i lived for
You put the sparkle in my eyes
You gave me reason to live, and so much more

and i cry
for the memories left behind
and i cry
because ure no longer mine
....and i cry for the moments that are forever lost

where did my happiness go?
I haven't smiled in weeks
you still fill my thoughts
and you're still the one my heart seeks


and i cry
for the memories left behind
and i cry
because ure no longer mine
....and i cry for the moments that are forever lost

Why did you have to walk out of my life?
i can still feel you on my heart's lonely descend
The pain's more than i can take..
tell me, will my heart ever love again?

and i cry
for the memories left behind
and i cry
because you're no longer mine
and i cry......


< !signature-->

¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤

[This message has been edited by DancinQueen (edited 12-27-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Kiley - All Rights Reserved
Dark Enchantress
Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258
meet Morgana
1 posted 2000-12-27 04:33 PM


You should make more "poor attempts" 'cause this came out great.  

Live and let live.

~*SeLf PrOcLaImEd FrEaK oF nAtUrE*~


layla
Member
since 2000-11-19
Posts 74

2 posted 2000-12-27 04:36 PM


wut a wonderful song maybe i can make a melody to it, lol keep up the great wrk
tq_99
Junior Member
since 2000-11-14
Posts 45
Las Vegas, NM, US
3 posted 2000-12-27 04:36 PM



  Not a porr attempt at all. This sounds really good. Normally I would say something like, "with a little work.." but not this time, because all you need is a beat to go along with it and you're done! Great job! Sorry to hear what you had to go through though... God Bless,
  

  - tq_99

"Some say a rich man has it all but if he has no friends he is nothing"

Acies
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Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
4 posted 2000-12-27 05:36 PM


sweets sweets sweets
becca becca becca

i think you shouldn't think of dancing for nsync anymore    i think you should write songs for em    BRAVO!!!!  if i could only throw you a bunch of roses i would...BRAVO!!!

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR


TopGunLauren
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718
California
5 posted 2000-12-27 05:42 PM


  Every poem of yours that I have read has been so awsome including this one. This poem would truthfully make a great song and I know I'd listen to it. Keep up the great work I can't wait to read more of your poems!
  Lauren

Melster
Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442
Brisbane, Qld, Australia
6 posted 2000-12-27 06:46 PM


Great attempt at a poor post...  It was far from poor, I don't even think poor was in the vicinity when this was written...  you have a wonderful talent, keep up th great work!!

Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

7 posted 2000-12-27 08:03 PM


Wow!  This is great,  I'm impressed  
Bel

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
8 posted 2000-12-27 08:52 PM


its amazing im very serious!i agrre u should make more "poor attempts" if they turn out like this!!maybe u should get a redocd deal
Regina

DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
9 posted 2000-12-27 11:12 PM


thanks guys     Well i have the tune in my head when i sing it..but i cant play ANY musical instrument..so i guess im kinda SOL in that department. but i'll keep working on it   Thanks again

*dq


¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
10 posted 2000-12-28 01:55 AM


DQ~
A poor attempt became a amazing job!!! Good work gilr!!! Keep it up...


People leave our lives as quickly as they come, but the ones that mean something leave footprints in our hearts.

DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
11 posted 2000-12-28 01:43 PM


ERIN~ hey chic! Thanks for replying! Now I dont have to pout lol lol insider   Talk to u later girlie

*dq


¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤

Pixie-Babe03
Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387
Central Maine
12 posted 2000-12-28 02:45 PM


this is great!! keep it up!!  
~*Pixie*~

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
13 posted 2000-12-29 10:15 AM


I think this is really good, I'm glad I read it.  I had a little tune in my head when I read (ok, so I sang it in my head) it, but I'm sure it's totally different than what you have in your head for it.  Anyway, I like it

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
14 posted 2000-12-29 01:23 PM


hey guys! thanks for replying, means alot as always!

¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
15 posted 2000-12-29 02:04 PM


wow, howd I miss this one. This was really touching! I say we hire you as lyricist as acire said. Bravo.

~JDR

"A writer doesn't acquire a vacancy of mind, but rather a inadequacy of words." - Jeremy D. Raulinaitis

DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
16 posted 2000-12-29 03:46 PM


thanks Jeremy     Id LOVE to be hired to write songs

*dq


¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
17 posted 2000-12-29 05:40 PM


This was a sad song......hope things get better.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


Skyfire
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
18 posted 2000-12-29 06:18 PM


Can I PLEASE put this to music??? Please???   That is sooooo awesome. Poor attempt, huh...?  

~*Skyfire


*~Always Canadian*~
~*~I used to be an idiot, but I'm all right now~*~

DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
19 posted 2000-12-30 12:29 PM


hey go ahead and put it with music! i sure have no clue where to even start to do that...so go for it...then u can mail it to me    

*dq


¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤

sweetstuff101
Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375
OK, USA
20 posted 2000-12-30 12:37 PM


Once I tried to write a song....it didn't work very well. But I would have to say you did an excellent job!! Keep it up!!!

Luv Always,  
  Priscilla
< !signature-->

~*~GoOd fRiEnDz ArE hArD 2 FiNd, HaRdEr 2 LeAvE, & iMpOsSiBlE 2 fOrGeT~*~tHe HaRdEsT tHiNg tO Do iS wAtCh tHe 1 U LuV, lUv sUm1 eLsE~*~

[This message has been edited by sweetstuff101 (edited 12-30-2000).]

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