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Teen Poetry #3
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Over You
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Over You |
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kimmy Member
since 2000-07-31
Posts 98 |
Sittng all alone, In the darness of myself, Eyes closed, Head bowed, Crying. Silently dreaming, In the darkness of myself, Eyes closed, Head bowed, Crying. Intense staring, Into the darkenss of myself, Eyes closed, Head bowed, Crying. Slowly realizing, Within the darkness of myself, Eyes open, Head raised, Smiling. Completely forgotten, Out of the darkness of myself, Eyes dried, Head raised, Laughing. Forgot about the tears, The frightening nightmares, Scary thoughts of darkness, To be over you. |
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| © Copyright 2000 kimmy - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Applause, applause!!! Wonderful style Kimmy. What a clever use of phrasing, to change so subtly as you move through the verses ... this reminds me of a lovely, positive "awakening". Loved this!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Wow! This was awesome. I too loved the way you went from dark, cold sadness to the happy laughter. Terrific write. ~Carly |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
Ditto. Live and let live. ~*SeLf PrOcLaImEd FrEaK oF nAtUrE*~ |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I agree, this is great. I hope that you are really feeling this way!! "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was great!!!! Good one here!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
wow wow wow ure quickly becoming one of my fav's here at passions. keep it up! *dq ¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤ |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
wow wow wow ure quickly becoming one of my fav's here at passions. keep it up! *dq ¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤ |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
simply perfect....I totally agree with Kit on this one....this is really good. keep em coming I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
I like, I like!! I like a lot! Don't stop!!  ~*Skyfire *~Always Canadian*~ ~*~I used to be an idiot, but I'm all right now~*~ |
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Tears of Glass Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 182Physically? VA.... Mentally? I'm not quite sure |
Kit is so right! This was simply amazing! I LOVED the style.. it made me keep reading. Wonderful poem! You deserve a pat on the back Keep it up!*Jennifer |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
i cannot agree more with everyone, new forms are what makes poems enjoyable! ~JDR "A writer doesn't acquire a vacancy of mind, but rather a inadequacy of words." - Jeremy D. Raulinaitis |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Do you know me?? hehehe no, I completely get this one, and I love it!! I hope this is true to life, cause there is nothing more satisfying then ditching a jerk!! Keep writing!!xoxo Jenn "A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ?? |
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