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Teen Poetry #3
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3 haikus (Lake's challenge)
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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3 haikus (Lake's challenge) |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723
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Per lake's challenge in Teen explorer, here are 3 attempts at haikus. I'm not sure how good they are ... these are the first ones I ever written. When I need someone You are no where to be found You have broke me heart My heart was falling If you stopped running from me You could have caught it Warm summer breeze blows Bright stars cover the night sky I wish you were here < !signature--> "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ [This message has been edited by IsGona (edited 12-27-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 IsGona - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
haikus are neat, you've shown lots of meaning in such little space. oh and i just noticed your hatebreed quote, i like them too! jeremy r "A writer doesn't acquire a vacancy of mind, but rather a inadequacy of words." - Jeremy D. Raulinaitis |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
Good job... I am not sure about this challenge, but I enjoy reading them, you have done a good job to say soo much in soo little sylabols!! Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"My heart is falling If you stopped running from me You could have caught it" Bravo Isgona! Senryus (non-nature) and Haikus (nature oriented) are difficult, but so much fun, when you get going. I loved this one in particular above ... wonderful imagery and perfect in your syllables, challenge well met!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Great job Isgona..... is this your squishy romantic side? hehexoxo Jenn "A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ?? |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
I loved them! Especially the last two. I don't know all the rules of haikus or anything but from what I can tell you did great. Live and let live. ~*SeLf PrOcLaImEd FrEaK oF nAtUrE*~ |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey, Kit stole my favorite!! No fair!! Eneh weh!! These really kicked. Great job J. ~Carly |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
All three of these are really good! I liked the last one the most, I guess it just seemed to click with me for some reason. Anyway, try some more if want to, and thanks for taking the challenge "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
like kit, your second attempt really hit home for me....how often have i felt like that? nice efforts and please do continue to pen such stuff  |
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sweetstuff101 Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375OK, USA |
BRAVO! You're really good at that, you know?? Well great job, keep writing! Much Luv, Priscilla ~*~GoOd fRiEnDz ArE hArD 2 FiNd, HaRdEr 2 LeAvE, & iMpOsSiBlE 2 fOrGeT~*~tHe HaRdEsT tHiNg tO Do iS wAtCh tHe 1 U LuV, lUv sUm1 eLsE~*~ |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
Thank you evey one for your replies Jeremy ~ Ah another hatebreed fan... cool Melz ~ I'm so glad you enjoyed these. Tnx for the reply Kit ~ the 2nd was my fav too. Jenn ~ Yes, I guess this is my "squishy romantic side" I like to think I'm a "squishy romantic" guy... sometimes...  Carly ~ Kit is a thief she stole my fav too heheLake ~ Thanks for this challenge it has really caught on, and it's been fun Kalie ~ I hope you don't feel like that to often, we need someone to stop our hearts from falling, but I know the feeling Priscilla ~ Thank you. You are to kind. < !signature--> "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ [This message has been edited by IsGona (edited 12-28-2000).] |
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Pixie-Babe03 Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387Central Maine |
i haven't read too many haikus but these are so cute keep it up!~*Pixie*~ |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well i liked the 3rd best so HA!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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