»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #3
»
Untitled... Help me think of a title...
| Teen Poetry #3 |
|
Untitled... Help me think of a title... |
|
|
Tears of Glass Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 182Physically? VA.... Mentally? I'm not quite sure |
Untitled Take a look in the mirror, Tell me what you see, You deserve all I give you, It's what you want to be. I have hunted you down, Your weaknesses I find, Invading your life and dignity, And playing with your mind. I made you what you are, You cannot leave me now, If you go six months without me, I will get to you somehow. The scales of time always Show the biggest weight of all. But do not despair, for I am near, And I hear you when you call. Drawing you into my web, I prey on the ones so weak, Your problems remain my property, I cannot allow you to speak. Encouraging days without nourishment, I burn you with my heat, It hurts to deprive your body, But I'll punish you if you eat. I will stalk you wherever you go, For i know you long to be thin, Don't even try to get help, I won't ever let you win. You may think you're safe now, Believe forever you will stay, But I am Anorexia Nervosa, And I will get to you one day. *Jennifer |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Jennifer M. - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
This is awsome. it reminds me of a NIN song "Mr. Self destruct" hmmm... a title... I suck with titles. But I would call it something like "No Escape" or "stalked"... I'm sure you'll come up with something creative. great poem, IsGona |
||
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey. This was a truly amazing piece. Title...the word that came to my mind was consume...Disease Consuming...I don't know!! Anyways, keep up the great work... ~Carly WhY ShOuLd I Be hypnotized by someone else's lies WhY ShOuLd I Take time and pride in what someone else believes... |
||
|
Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
Title idea? I'm not too good with titles. Those other titles sounded good though. I love this poem. It's excellent. Keep it up.  In order to be good one must know evil. ~*Angel of Darkness*~ |
||
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I liked "Stalked" for a title. The poem has power, great job!! "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
||
|
jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
"You may think you're safe now, Believe forever you will stay, But I am Anorexia Nervosa, And I will get to you one day." This was merely powerful! Great work. I have no title suggestions  jeremy r "A writer doesn't acquire a vacancy of mind, but rather a inadequacy of words." - Jeremy D. Raulinaitis |
||
|
Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
Great poem... you describe the situation and disease soo well... Melz!! Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
this is a very intruiging piece. I like it a lot. with regards to the title, what about "Anorexia Nervosa". That's my choice at least. I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Good one here....very powerful......anorexia nervosa.....hehe i liked that.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
||
|
DreamerGrl27 Member
since 2000-10-29
Posts 142 |
This poem was very powerful...the meaning of it is really sad. So many people, especially teenagers are suffering from this. As for the title, maybe: 'I am Anorexia Nervosa' or 'I will get to you one day' or 'Weakness,' somehting like that I think. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
