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Teen Poetry #3
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Exacavation in Desperation
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Exacavation in Desperation |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair 
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"Excavation in Desperation" < !signature-->Beneath this debris, my conceal of disguise, Feelings inside, throughout, have caved me in, Aloft my presence, lies peril on all sides, O'er me, wanderers run, trampling on my spirit Chords orchestrate my scream, silence remains, Exasperated ears of blood, trickling abroad Stinging my eyes, like sweat of harsh pains, Excavate me, leave me not a fossil behind Assist me, now, as I am incapable of resist, For I am not Pompeii, left in these ruins, Desperation breaks the skin, of tenderness, Offer a hand, or stick, at least an attempt Don't desert me now, we're getting near, Commence proceedings, shovel me outward, Emancipate me, rid me of the despair, Distinguish these feelings, of gloominess Jeremy D. Raulinaitis 12/23/00 *Happy Holidays* "...if you've never met me, then you've no right to judge me. I have a good heart, but this heart can get ugly." ~DMX~ [This message has been edited by jeremydraul (edited 12-23-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jeremy Daniel Raulinaitis - All Rights Reserved | |||
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kimmy Member
since 2000-07-31
Posts 98 |
wow..it seems like everything you write is amazing...i loved this...again..wow..that is all i cant think right now or my response would be better...but..wow... |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Excellent Jeremy! Your command of language is superb ... this was a wonderfully descriptive piece, really well done!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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branden726 
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
wow good poem and i thank you for your reply's on all mine and i believe it was you that said i write with sincerety (sp) well i think you also write with a lot of sincerety. "i just love when you bring your whole crew because its just a bigger piece of cake for me to chew threw" |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Nice job here! Nice wordage and vocabulary. Well done, jeremy! Vreni |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was great! I liked this one a lot jer...  +I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
Interesting... great job... look forward to more!! Melz!! Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
-in honor of xmas i am writing in red -id like to thank everyone for their generous and kind words jeremy r "...if you've never met me, then you've no right to judge me. I have a good heart, but this heart can get ugly." ~DMX~ |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
Great poem jeremy... You always use such great words in your poems. Great job on this one. "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
wow jeremy....i must say you've become brilliant and this poetry stuff! i love this and all you poem...wow! Salma |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
thanks a bunch for your words, any more before I let it tire? jeremy r "A writer doesn't acquire a vacancy of mind, but rather a inadequacy of words." - Jeremy D. Raulinaitis |
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TrueLUV Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 158Connecticut, U.S.A. |
Jeremy as I read this I was left speechless and excellent use of vocabulary I commend you keep up the great work. Happy Holidays [This message has been edited by TrueLUV (edited 12-26-2000).] |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
...WoW...Welcome to my library...... ~Carly WhY ShOuLd I Be hypnotized by someone else's lies WhY ShOuLd I Take time and pride in what someone else believes... |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I too think this one is truly great, you have such a talent with words. Thanks for sharing it with us "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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