navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #3 » I Died
Teen Poetry #3
Post A Reply Post New Topic I Died Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
hoppy
Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271


0 posted 2000-12-17 03:24 PM



i died tonight
i heard your word
looked in your eyes
lost my sight
while dry tears fell
on empty ears
i couldn't save you
so i let you be
what can i do
but give you a tear
so you'll remember me


Swift as a shadow, short as any dream;
Brief as the lightning in the collied night,
That in a spleen unfolds both heaven and earth,
And ere a ma

© Copyright 2000 Hoppy - All Rights Reserved
Melster
Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442
Brisbane, Qld, Australia
1 posted 2000-12-17 06:57 PM


Umm - yeah well umm what can I say?  I am a little unsure of the meaning of this - I like it though!  Good job!!

Melz!!

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2000-12-17 09:09 PM


this was great. SO sad though.....i hope all is well.


I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
3 posted 2000-12-17 10:51 PM


this is dejecting... so sad, good post.

jeremy r

"...if you've never met me, then you've no right to judge me. I have a good heart, but this heart can get ugly." ~DMX~


apsara
Member
since 2000-11-09
Posts 70

4 posted 2000-12-18 04:35 AM


Its really sad. I'm not sure of the meaning though. good read.

apsara

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
5 posted 2000-12-18 06:54 PM


nice poem, sounds like someone down in the dumps....everything ok?
branden726
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607
Bay City, MI
6 posted 2000-12-19 07:03 AM


WOW! THATS ALL I CAN SAY! WOW!

"i just love when you bring your whole crew because its just a bigger piece of cake for me to chew threw"


Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
7 posted 2000-12-20 03:50 PM


"looked in your eyes
lost my sight"

Great job on this one.  It was sad as almost everyone else said, but I like it.  Nice work

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

mikeykrazy
Junior Member
since 2000-12-20
Posts 37
U.S.A
8 posted 2000-12-20 09:39 PM


it was grate the use of words i loved it keep posting
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #3 » I Died

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary