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Teen Poetry #3
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branden726
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since 2000-09-25
Posts 607
Bay City, MI

0 posted 2000-12-16 10:50 PM


Why is it when i touch you hand i feel as if im dead?
Why is it when i am in your arms i feel as if im gonna slip?
Love oftens trys to save before it gets to bad,
Car accidents, Train wrecks, Plane crashes,
Often happen with the one you love,
Sometimes not always but a lot of other ppl die just because one is not meant to love,
So sad but yet so true,
I became a poet to express my feelings to you,
In this piece i am doing so by matching things together,
My first real piece of mysterious can u tell me what this is meant to be?
Tell me how u feel and what u think this about
My fellow poets its time for me to roam on out.

                     Buhbye!


kinda seems like a mockery huh? i like it its pretty kool all well hope i get lots of replies

© Copyright 2000 Branden Jacobs - All Rights Reserved
Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
1 posted 2000-12-16 11:21 PM


I really should not reply to this when I'm tired, so I promise to be back in the morning

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2000-12-17 07:39 AM


I enjoyed this Branden ... it sounds as though you're exploring the feelings one gets when love is within their grasp, and yet realizing that so easily ... it can be taken away. Nice ponderings here!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
3 posted 2000-12-17 02:56 PM


It's actually the afternoon, but I'm back I like how this was written, I found it interesting that you found a connection between love and death.  Great job on this one, and I also hope you get a lot of replies, you deserve them

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Melster
Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442
Brisbane, Qld, Australia
4 posted 2000-12-17 06:30 PM


Ummm - yeah - well what can I say...  I know that loved ones are taken from us too soon - and I guess you are right that often it is so that we don't get hurt!  This poem has taught me a lot and I think I am going to go and do something I should have done a long time ago...  thanks!!  

Melz!!  keep  in!!

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2000-12-17 08:57 PM


hey this was great branden....nice comparison!!!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


branden726
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607
Bay City, MI
6 posted 2000-12-17 10:59 PM


well thanks all of you all this was, was to let myself know what my feelings were about writing poems okay thanks buhbye have a good life ha ha im in a great mood love ya'll

"i just love when you bring your whole crew because its just a bigger piece of cake for me to chew threw"


branden726
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607
Bay City, MI
7 posted 2000-12-17 10:59 PM


well thanks all of you all this was, was to let myself know what my feelings were about writing poems okay thanks buhbye have a good life ha ha im in a great mood love ya'll

"i just love when you bring your whole crew because its just a bigger piece of cake for me to chew threw"


apsara
Member
since 2000-11-09
Posts 70

8 posted 2000-12-18 04:21 AM


Writing does something to me too. Its like confronting something that's better left unsaid. Loved ones do get away from our grasp sometimes. More often than we'd like but that's life. Good expression.

apsara

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