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Teen Poetry #3
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Your gaze
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Your gaze |
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~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
With eyes like ice I feel your glare Watching me intently With your cold stare. Why are you watching me? Have I done something bad? Please tell me now Before I go mad. I hate it when you look at me And make me feel uneasy, I get that funny feeling in my tummy And then I get queasy. Let's reverse this okay? How about if I stared at you? Cause if you don't stop gazing at me I'll puke all over your shoes! < !signature--> *do not offer yourself to the world, yet let the world offer itself to you*--Me  [This message has been edited by ~sugarpie313~ (edited 12-16-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Valerie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I liked the first stanza of this a lot and I found the ending really funny. nice job on the poem "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
I really liked the way this was written, and I agree with Lake on the ending. ~Carly |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wow.......well that poem was good, but the last line made me laugh so hard. Anyway good job!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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apsara Member
since 2000-11-09
Posts 70 |
I LOVE this poem. Don't you just hate it when someone stares at you? Shudder. apsara |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
LoL!!! This was a nice suprise ending...i thought this was gonna be such a serious poem but the ending caught me off guard!! I liked it a lot Very creative |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
Was the ending supposed to have that effect? That we were all shocked and laughing? It cracked me up also as I was not expecting anything like that!! Good Poem though all the same! Melz!! Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
I hate it when people stare....well actually...hehehe The ending was hilarious Regina  |
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~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
Thanks you guys for replying and yes the poem is suppose to have that affect. LOL I wrote this when i was sick and... ta da... i was puking. LOL and i just thought of that.well thanks guys once again!!! bye for now *do not offer yourself to the world, yet let the world offer itself to you*--Me :) |
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