navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #3 » My Silent Heart (really short)
Teen Poetry #3
Post A Reply Post New Topic My Silent Heart (really short) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723


0 posted 2000-12-14 03:29 PM


Title is weak... Suggestions welcome


~My silent heart~

Searching for the voice of my  heart
Hating my mind for all it's greed
Looking for what's pure to impart
Knowing that love is all that I need

Note: not sure if impart is the right word.  I used it to mean share.  I think it can mean that... I don't know.  If it dosn't make sense sorry.
< !signature-->

"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN
~Hatebreed~




[This message has been edited by IsGona (edited 12-16-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 IsGona - All Rights Reserved
Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
1 posted 2000-12-14 05:09 PM


I think the title is good.

From http://www.dictionary.com :
"im·part:
To grant a share of; bestow: impart a subtle flavor; impart some advice.
To make known; disclose: persuaded to impart the secret."

So I think using impart makes sense.  Nice job on the poem



"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

branden726
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607
Bay City, MI
2 posted 2000-12-14 05:15 PM


unfound love? well good short poem. lakey was trying to um i dont know confuse me o oops did i spell that wrong sorry jk lol good poem


"i just love when you bring your whole crew because its just a bigger piece of cake for me to chew threw"


Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2000-12-14 08:56 PM


This was great........short but sweet and simply meet.........uhhh erm......ok

yea but great job!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


SwEeTnSeXy18
Member
since 2000-09-18
Posts 247
nc
4 posted 2000-12-14 09:19 PM


ISGona:

Good Job! You expressed a silent heart very well. Don't think the title is weak but, thats just my opinon. Short, simple, and to the point (thats nice sometimes) I think you used the word correctly. Now I've read one of your poems. Glad I got the chance.   Take care

~Lisa~


~in order to gain, you have to lose~



IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

5 posted 2000-12-15 03:40 PM


Lake ~ as always thanks

Branden ~ Unfound love is fitting... thanks

Dopey ~ Meet?  err  yea I guess(?) thanks

Lisa ~ thanks.  appreciate the comments.

"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN
~Hatebreed~

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
6 posted 2000-12-15 05:06 PM



  Wow yo, I really liked it. Tons. Tootelz.

  ~Carly

curlygurly
Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 276
USA
7 posted 2000-12-15 05:40 PM


that was pretty cool. i love short poems, they're always direct and u can figure out what the meaning is. great poem
Curly


"So many tears i've cried, so much pain inside"
-Lenny Kravitz


IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

8 posted 2000-12-16 12:19 PM


Carly ~ Thx.  your to kind

Curly ~ Thx. I'm glad you like short poems 'cause that's all I seem to be able to write lately


"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN
~Hatebreed~

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
9 posted 2000-12-16 12:55 PM


this poem was breviloquent, at the same time it didnt inhibit any meaning.

jeremy r

"...if you've never met me, then you've no right to judge me. I have a good heart, but this heart can get ugly." ~DMX~


IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

10 posted 2000-12-16 12:33 PM


Jeremy ~ Thanks for reading my poem and the kind words.  

ps
Is "breviloquent" a word?  You could have just said "breif" now my head hurts.  *takes an asprin* hehe< !signature-->

"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN
~Hatebreed~


[This message has been edited by IsGona (edited 12-16-2000).]

Pixie-Babe03
Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387
Central Maine
11 posted 2000-12-16 02:01 PM


I LOVE THIS!!! this post is so great!  it gets right to the point but is so powerful even in its few words   keep it up!!
~*Pixie*~

sweetstuff101
Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375
OK, USA
12 posted 2000-12-16 03:26 PM


hey!
That was awesome! I really liked it! Thanx for sharing!! Keep writing!!

Luv,
~*~Priscilla~*~


~*~GoOd fRiEnDz ArE hArD 2 FiNd, HaRdEr 2 LeAvE, & iMpOsSiBlE 2 fOrGeT~*~tHe HaRdEsT tHiNg tO Do iS wAtCh tHe 1 U LuV, lUv sUm1 eLsE~*~

IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

13 posted 2000-12-17 11:07 AM


Pixie & Priscilla ~ Thank you both for your generous words.  I'm glad you took the time to read my poem
IsGona

"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN
~Hatebreed~

apsara
Member
since 2000-11-09
Posts 70

14 posted 2000-12-18 05:25 AM


I like this one. Its short but it says a lot. Its just powerful that way. Great poem.

apsara

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

15 posted 2000-12-19 03:26 AM



Very sweet poem here...
In the few words you have written this poem speaks volumes...

Great write...

coco

[This message has been edited by CocoBaci (edited 12-19-2000).]

IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

16 posted 2000-12-19 10:27 PM


Thank you both ~ I am very pleased that you read my poem and took the time to reply.
Thanls again  
IsGona

"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN
~Hatebreed~

Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
17 posted 2001-05-17 04:55 PM


Awww Jay. You'll find her one day. Who knows, perhaps you know her already.  
Loved it as usual!!

Jenn

"If it's wrong to love you, then my heart just won't let me be right, cause I'm drowned in you, and I won't pull through without you by my side." Mari

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #3 » My Silent Heart (really short)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary