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Teen Poetry #3
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Ever Have One of Those Days?
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Ever Have One of Those Days? |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people 
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Disconnected, I'm just out there, all I do is sit, sit and stare, no words are heard, nothing said, people wondering what's wrong in my head, can't I have just one bad day, to be disconnected, with nothing to say? Free from happiness, it's just a curse, feeling better as the days get worse. Just some times I need to be alone, when into society too close I've grown, but all I hear is "what's wrong today?" can't I just be disconnected, isn't that ok? December 10, 2000 Lakewalker Even if you hate this I would like a reply, please tell me what you like and don't like. I want critism if you have any!! This is basically about the times in my life when I get overloaded with everything and I just need a break. I thik that's pretty obvious though. For some reason I've been writing with a lot of commas in my poems. Now I'm just rambling, but you don't mind if I do that, do you? Anyway, PLEASE reply!  "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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| © Copyright 2000 Lakewalker - All Rights Reserved | |||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
I have lots of days like this, and I think you explain it really well. Sometimes people should just back off and let you stare into space. On the other hand, though, it means that they care about you... that's always good to know. Thanks for posting. "Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather "Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav |
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branden726
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
I sit here and wonder why Why they get worse, You have me and plenty others, Here to make you happy! Like my poem? lol well its a wonderful poem and i hope you dont actually feel that way "i just love when you bring your whole crew because its just a bigger piece of cake for me to chew threw" |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought the flow and ryhme scheme was great Lake. Another one of your good poems. I think this is one of my favorite of yours. It's quite simple and not hard to comprehend yet it adds a lot of flare to it. I love the meaning.......it's like......"hey it's ok to feel like this.....it's just one of those days"....yea that was kinda lame but you know what I mean hehe. Later!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
I like this poem! I am often left feeling like this and you say it soo well that it almost makes me feel like you know how I feel!! Love Melz!! |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Nice work Lake! I for one am being constantly badgered, mostly by the parental units, to stop walking around in a daze and talk to them. However, lol, I'm coming to notice that it's not just a bad day reflex response for me, it's a state of life. LOL. Good work, kiddo. Vreni |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey Lake. Great job...I loved it, I really did. ~Carly |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
You know Lakewalker, I loved this. Sometimes, you just don't want to smile. Sometimes, 'happy' is just not in your vocabulary. Sometimes, nothing is especially wrong, you just want to be by yourself and reflect. There is absolutly nothing wrong with feeling like this, I know that I do. Great writing. xoxo Jenn "A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ?? |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
i hate days like those. i think you expresed it well. |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Yep, been there, done that. Except right now I'm suffering just the opposite...being so under-challenged and bored that it's driving me bonkers...anyways, good piece of work, I can definitely relate! *Krista Knutson* "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar." Helen Keller |
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sweetstuff101 Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375OK, USA |
That was great!! I know how it feels to just want everyone to go away and stop asking!! Great poem, keep writing!! ~*~GoOd fRiEnDz ArE hArD 2 FiNd, HaRdEr 2 LeAvE, & iMpOsSiBlE 2 fOrGeT~*~tHe HaRdEsT tHiNg tO Do iS wAtCh tHe 1 U LuV, lUv sUm1 eLsE~*~ |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Excellent emotive writing Lake! I can relate to this soooo well! I had one of those days yesterday myself. I'm not sure why people don't understand that some days we just need a "mental health day" for ourselves, no explanations needed ... Great writing! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
I really like this Lakey, because I can relate to this. Life is one MAJOR headache for me.... I think I've lost my mind, and I'm pretty sure that my next door neighbor is trying to contact Mars. Anways, I can relate. Bye! I can't see at all. Even if I could it would all be great, to put your picture on my wall, it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad. |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Thank you for all of your replies! "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Lakewalker~ We all get into our different moods. Sometimes their good and sometimes they are bad. But we all get those days where we just dont have any feeling. Good poem. And to cheer you up...Smile cuz here comes a snowball right at you *SPLAT*!!!! People leave our lives as quickly as they come, but the ones that mean something leave footprints in our hearts. |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
Well since you asked for criticism I did my best to find some, but unfortunantly you are far to talented for me to criticize. I think this was an exelent expression of your thaughts. Nice job IsGona "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
*crowd* "Go Lake, go lake, its your birthday, its your birthday." good poem lake, excellent rhyming, i think ive had one of those days, post more often bud, these are great to read at 12 in the morning jeremy r "...if you've never met me, then you've no right to judge me. I have a good heart, but this heart can get ugly." ~DMX~ |
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Minister of Dissonance Junior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 20 |
my life is a perpetual "one of those days" *cringe* the great dissonant one |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Hey everyone, thanks for the replies! "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Great job! I know exactly what you are talking about, sometimes we are just disconnected. Why do we have to explain this? ~Allan Its rather handy being at the top of the food chain...you can sort things out and not get the blame for it. ~~Elizabeth Johnson (anonymousfemale) |
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