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Teen Poetry #3
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QTpieOmy
Junior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 11
Illinois

0 posted 2000-12-08 05:53 PM


Hey, please post a reply to let me know what you think, good or bad comments. I wanna know if someone is actually reading my work! Thanks!!

Lost Love

Why must he hurt me?
What did I do wrong?
We used to talk for hours
Now his voice is gone
He told me that he loved me
I thought his love was true
Now he's far away
Our long talks are through
At first he said he'd write-
And call me everyday
Then we drifted apart
Our love could not stay
But I have to say
I dont understand
Why you left me alone
Now everyday I go to my room
And wait to hear the phone
Every time it rings
I pray it might be you
Cause you dont know how much
I miss just holding on to you
But those times we shared are gone
Washed away forever
Now I just have to hold onto my dreams
That someday we may be together
But I have a feeling we might never be
And it hurts me deep inside
To know that you don't care anymore
And to think you never cried
So now I tell you this
Something you must know
It may not help at all
But I gave my heart to you
And I need you to tell me
How could you let it go?
    


© Copyright 2000 Tara Clausen - All Rights Reserved
IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

1 posted 2000-12-08 06:06 PM


Of cousrse ppl are reading your poems.  That's what we do best.  
And this one was great expresion of your feelings.
The hardest thing in life is loving some one who dosn't love you back.  Hope things get better.

IsGona

"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN
~Hatebreed~

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
2 posted 2000-12-08 06:39 PM


I have to agree with IsGona, loving someone who doesn't love back is one of the hardest things in life. I have been dealing with this for the past few months, the only difference is that we still talk and she still does care, just not like that. I can't give you any advice cause I haven't figured it out myself, so keep writing, it always helps. Great poem.
                                          Jon

Tears of Glass
Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 182
Physically? VA.... Mentally? I'm not quite sure
3 posted 2000-12-08 06:53 PM


Hi.  Awesome poem!  I do read your poetry, and I must say you are very talented.  I can feel what you are saying in this, and that's the best kind of poetry.  Thanks for the great read.

*Jennifer

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2000-12-08 08:34 PM


OK i thought this was sad and all i gotta say is "awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!" Ok well i thought it was good though....so yea. I read it and liked it.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
5 posted 2000-12-08 09:25 PM


This was very well done QTpieOmy! Wonderful expression, and a very nice flow and rhyming scheme ... nicely penned!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

~*~PrettyGirly~*~
Member
since 2000-11-04
Posts 83
Fitchburg Ma Usa
6 posted 2000-12-08 10:00 PM


Hey thats really good poem, you really don't lose love. It's always in you and that other person, even though you don't think that. They still care for you and I bet he wonders the same as you do. He wishes that you'd call him, unless he's one of those guys who doesn't really care then you Lost Love. I'll post my version of Lost Love I'll  change the name though, and you can post what you think think of my version.
~Min~  

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
7 posted 2000-12-09 01:44 PM


I read it and I like it, nice job

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

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