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Teen Poetry #3
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jytree
Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 336
omaha ark usa

0 posted 2000-12-08 10:37 AM


Here I am,
Look at me now,
If you look closely enough,
I might make you say wow,

For I was once a rose,

With my friend in the master's little grove,
Little by little I started to grow,
And to look at me now it really shows,

On certain day I started to bloom,
But I finally notice I had a thorn in me,
So slowly I dided,
For it was my doom,

But a funny thing hapened,
Yes indeed,
See I have very strong roots,
So my death as a rose was me just breaking free,

Ah yes my roots you see,
I branched out to make myself free,
So now hereI am as happy as can be,
Why you ask,?
Because NOw I live as a tree.


Love is pure in it's top form,
But with out romance love is not born


© Copyright 2000 Michael Jay vaughn - All Rights Reserved
Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
1 posted 2000-12-08 05:16 PM


"Here I am,
Look at me now,
If you look closely enough,
I might make you say wow,

For I was once a rose,"

I like how you started this poem a lot, and the whole thing is really good, nice job



"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2000-12-08 08:47 PM


I'll have to agree with everything lake said. i liked the same exact lines too.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


Dazed_and_Confused
Junior Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 15

3 posted 2000-12-08 08:51 PM


Totally love it! the rose is so delecate and a good subject to use in a poem. Keep writin'!

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