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Teen Poetry #3
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apsara
Member
since 2000-11-09
Posts 70


0 posted 2000-12-06 02:04 AM



Thoughts

One day in November
It changed the course of life
It was a day to remember
The day I took my fatal dive

The demons in my head
They kept whispering nothingness
I soon wished I were dead
I listened to them, they told me...

I kept telling them that this place was cold
They continued laughing maniacally
Telling me, shouting that my soul was sold
I cried, I tried to remember in vain

They told me I jumped into the abyss
I remembered then, I remembered what I felt
The thoughts that ran through my head, this
Chased me to the end of my trip


© Copyright 2000 apsara - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2000-12-06 04:25 PM


This was great. I liked the poem but it was kind of confusing. Could you explain exactly what you are trying to say in this poem.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
2 posted 2000-12-06 04:29 PM


I don't think I quite get what you're saying here either.  I did like the way the poem was written though

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
3 posted 2000-12-06 08:50 PM


This was an amazing, powerful poem. It was also very strong in its words..i liked it a lot.
apsara
Member
since 2000-11-09
Posts 70

4 posted 2000-12-07 11:02 AM



I guess I wanted this poem to sound confused. Its like when you hear voices in your mind that puts you down and causes yourself to doubt others. You don't really want to listen to those negativity but if you succumb to what they say then you're lost with no grip to hold on to. Nothing to believe in. That's when you destroy yourself.

The main point of the poem is to not listen to the negativity in your head and to push them away or if you do not then you might lose yourself and your own identity.
  
I guess it sounds even more confusing after I tried interpreting it but that is what it means to me.

apsara


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