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Teen Poetry #3
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Daydreams
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Daydreams |
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B@BYG!RL Junior Member
since 2000-11-30
Posts 19Australia |
Everytime I close my eyes I dream about you and I All the times we'll share together From today until forever I lose myself in my daydreams with you Every dream something new Holding hands, walking in sunsets Romantic times, candle light dinners Intimacy, just you and me or making out the TV Everytime I close my eyes I dream about you and I ok, I know the middle bit is a lil not right.. suggestions and critisms welcome..  Don't frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Dianne - All Rights Reserved | |||
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey, this was great. I wouldn't change it at all! |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I think this is good over all and I would have to spend a little more time on it to decide on any ideas for changes. ...maybe i'll be back "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Dazed_and_Confused Junior Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 15 |
I love it. It totally expresses your feelings. Don't change it.  |
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Dean Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 120Canada |
Hello!! I just want to say great poem! I loved it. It was great I like your stuff! I was wondering next time you write something if you could send it to me at dheidebrecht@dccnet.com! "Live to love or why live at all" Deano :) |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
THe part about making out the tv didn't make sense to me. Either you're looking at the tv and tyring to make out what you see which is obviously a tv....or your making out with a tv. Hehe....anyway i think the poem was over all pretty good. Keep posting!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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