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Teen Poetry #3
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Our Abyss
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Our Abyss |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico 
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Our Abyss: Our blood stained encrippted note Bidding a final fairwell. Apollo's rusting chariot With a sign of 'On Sale'. Churning feelings of unfelt time Fade into our perfect love. Sit down blues and broken hearts. Sarcastic smirk from up above. Glancing girl of worry ways Is what I'll come to miss. Drum beat body simply here. Long live our abyss.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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| © Copyright 2000 Pepe de la Muerte - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Rhiannon Member
since 1999-07-28
Posts 95Fayetteville, TN USA |
"Long live our abyss." I loved this. Keep it up  love, leslie The night is my companion The solitude my guide Would I spend forever here And not be satisfied? Sarah MacLachlan, "Possession" |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
Hey Dopey, not sure why this one isn't getting many replies. I liked it IsGona "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey yo! This was sooo great, I'm left with this really weird stunned feeling......you da man. ~Carly Home is where the heart goes when it needs a band-aid. |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I read this one twice and finally found a meaning for me. Sometimes I have to do that with your poems, but that's relly good, it gets my mind moving. Nice job And wow, you're about to hit 2000  !"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Im glad that i got the few amounts of replies i did. I know i didn't get a lot but all for reasons due to it being a crappy poem. I didn't much like it myself. This poem is simply about sinking down with my loved one into this nonreversable abyss of heartbreak and so on. Glad to see some replied...bye! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
hey Dopes, this isn't crapy. You're like Vreni, you doubt your talents while everyone jaw hits the floor when they read em. thanks fir the read I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
nice flow, i love your style, keep up the good stuff jeremy r "...if you've never met me, then you've no right to judge me. I have a good heart, but this heart can get ugly." ~DMX~ |
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TrueLUV Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 158Connecticut, U.S.A. |
2 word simply incredible I loved it. I love all your work keep it up |
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branden726
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
Good write dopey. thanks for sharing! "i just love when you bring your whole crew because its just a bigger piece of cake for me to chew threw" |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well thanks for bringing this out of the dump......thanks for replying all. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
I am glad you told me of the meaning as I was dazzeled by it - I love it, but I was unsure of the meaning till I read your words, now all is clear!! Can't wait for more!! Melz!! Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly |
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