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Teen Poetry #3
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silvrduck
Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146


0 posted 2000-11-26 12:39 PM


This is one of 3 poems I wrote last night.. all about a certain guy. Let's just say the situation kinda sucks in my direction. *sigh* but oh well...
(i'll probably end up posting the others as well)
---------------

"Just once..."

look at you
your perfect smile
it goes with your perfect laugh
and your (edited by moderator) perfect eyes
leading me to know
you’d never tell me lies.

I hate you
your strong arms
they wrap and comfort so well
and your hands, lost in my own
reminding me
that i’ll never be alone.

I beg please
hurt me just once
take my heart and tear it out
tell me things I pray aren’t true
then just maybe
I could stop loving you.

< !signature-->

with the unknown comes no expectations
in this i find my peace


[This message has been edited by vlraynes (edited 11-26-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 silvrduck - All Rights Reserved
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
1 posted 2000-11-26 02:07 PM



silvrduck-
   First of all, let me give you a
   belated 'welcome' to Passions.  
   We're so glad you've decided to
   join us in our 'family of friends'.
  
   You've done a good job of expressing
   your feelings in this piece, and I
   hope to read lots more from you
   in the future.  

   I do need to make you aware, however,
   that profanity is not acceptable here
   in the Passions forums.  We have some
   very young readers here, and we don't
   want them, or any of us, to be
   subjected to offensive language.
   I have edited out the inappropriate
   word in the above post, and will very
   much appreciate your understanding
   and cooperation..  

   Again, welcome, and we look forward
   to seeing lots more from you.  

   *smiles*,
   -vicky


< !signature-->

"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes




[This message has been edited by vlraynes (edited 11-26-2000).]

Nikkisweet
Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 183
Tx, Dallas
2 posted 2000-11-26 02:21 PM


I liked this poem.  It's like this guy loves you and he's just perfect for you and you love him so much, but maybe you're not used to feeling this way and you want him to stop.  Is that what you were trying to get at in this poem?  Sorry if I mistunderstood it, but it was a great poem.


~Writing is filling up your
soul with words~
--Me

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2000-11-26 03:08 PM


This was great i really liked it, but i surely hope that he doesnt hurt you. You'll be sorrrrrrrrrrry



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


silvrduck
Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146

4 posted 2000-11-26 04:05 PM


Oops, so sorry about that offensive word there! I'll make sure to catch myself next time..  

You were pretty close Nikkisweet.. it's actually about this guy who is perfect for me, and who I do love so much... but because of something (err, someone) we can never be more than friends. So in a way I "hate" him because I'm not suppose to love him, but he makes it impossible not to.  Does that make any sense? lol

Anyways.. thanks for the compliments you guys!! they mean alot to me.  



with the unknown comes no expectations
in this i find my peace

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
5 posted 2000-11-27 02:47 PM


Yes, that makes sense.  The poem is really good, it expresses that feeling  well.  Good job

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
6 posted 2000-11-27 03:45 PM


If its for a good reason that you dont want to be with him then dont. But if its cause of something little then dont let it bother you. You cant help the way you feel and nobody besides you can change it.

People leave our lives as quickly as they come, but the ones that mean something leave footprints in our hearts.

Kandi
Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354
North of Hell
7 posted 2000-11-27 04:04 PM


Wow...I realllly loved this poem...mind if I print it out? I can totally relate to it, but in a little bit of a different way then what you meant it to be. I'm "in love" with a guy who has hurt me but it isn't his fault so I can't blame him or be mad at him for it no matter how much I wish I could just hate him. Sooo anyways, this was awesome. Definitely a must-read. Keep it up. And ur relatively new here I see so welcome  
Love
Kristin

~*Things you see the way you see them will never be seen again*~

~Won't you come and hold my hand?
This world has taken me as far as it can...
w

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