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Teen Poetry #3
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BaByGuRL
Junior Member
since 2000-11-25
Posts 13


0 posted 2000-11-26 01:33 AM


ok...i know im new and it may seem like im posting a lot for my first day...but i guess im in a creative mood tonight- i have a lot on my mind. well this one isnt all that great but it truly expresses how i fell about someone from my past and thank you everyone who replied to my first one it means a lot to me that you all took the time to read it  


for what seems to me like forever and a day
i had searched for something to fill emptiness in my soul
i searched high and low, near and far, and yet my journey continued
each moment taking me somewhere i had never been
the more i searched, the more the emptiness grew...until, that is, the day that i met you.
you came to me when i had just lost hope,
and i nolonger knew the meaning of lonliness, because i knew that it would for ever be you and me.
you fit me as if you were my other half, and i gave you my whole heart.
never again will i make that mistake because then you tore it apart.
one day i turned around and you just weren't there, and i dont know why you left.
now, I know exactly where to go to fill that lonly space,
it's just that i can nolonger reach you, like you dont even recognize my face.
so i guess i will just keep crying while i await your return.
and until then i will think that you were just a lesson for me to learn: be careful who you give your heart to

© Copyright 2000 BaByGuRL - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2000-11-26 01:48 AM


This was great! We even got a little lesson at the end which is so true. One to live by!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


Kandi
Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354
North of Hell
2 posted 2000-11-26 01:51 AM


Thanks for posting this one hun  

"you fit me as if you were my other half, and i gave you my whole heart."....
"i will think that you were just a lesson for me to learn: be careful who you give your heart to"

I really like those lines...I dunno they stood out to me.  Anyways, I am jealous that you can just sit down and write something as good as this...takes me forever and a day and several drafts to finish a poem! Keep writing or else.....lol  
Love ya sweety
ur sister




~*Things you see the way you see them will never be seen again*~

~Won't you come and hold my hand?
This world has taken me as far as it can...
w

Kandi
Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354
North of Hell
3 posted 2000-11-26 01:57 AM


Why does dopey always beat me at replying to you???? grrrrr!!!!

~*Things you see the way you see them will never be seen again*~

~Won't you come and hold my hand?
This world has taken me as far as it can...
w

PureM
Junior Member
since 2000-11-23
Posts 22
London, UK
4 posted 2000-11-26 04:11 AM


Well done!  But sometimes I think people who can express themselves as well as you and many of the people in these forums are too special and more deserving than to "just keep crying while i await your return." !!  You deserve more!



Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
5 posted 2000-11-27 02:39 PM


You pretty much said it yourself, this one expresses how you truely feel.  And you did it very well!  I think the poem is very good, nice job

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
6 posted 2000-11-27 03:19 PM


BabyGurl~
I like this one. You expressed your feelings just perfect. I am sorry that you had your heart broken but its a part of life that we all go through. We get our hearts broken along with us breaking some hearts. Keep your head up things will get better. Who knows maybe one day you and think guy will get back together. Keep up the good work!!


People leave our lives as quickly as they come, but the ones that mean something leave footprints in our hearts.

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
7 posted 2000-11-28 07:48 PM


I'm not sure, but this might be the first poem of yours that I've actually read.  And you know what? I'm very impressed.  You emotions seems to jump out of you and gets directly inked on paper.  Keep it up, I'm looking forward to seeing more of your work

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR


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