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Teen Poetry #3
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Melt the World
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Melt the World |
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Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
Have you noticed... There's a coldness enveloping the whole world 'round and you're stuck right in the middle Have you completely forgotten what we found in each other? Could you be any more cold? Push me away a little I'm getting closer than ever and that's too close for comfort Would you mind slamming the door? Maybe then I could finally walk away and ignore you. Maybe I could pretend I don't care that you're crying, I could say I don't feel the part of you that's been dying I could even pretend I don't love you anymore... I've never been good at pretending. Push me away a little more. It makes no difference, I'm not going anywhere It's bad enough the whole world's turned to ice and there's a chill in the air wherever I go Like it's easy for me to watch you're heart become frozen As if I could leave you when you need me the most... Can you honestly say you don't need me? There's still so much of you I need to know And I'm staying until you can make it on your own, until I've broken the stone of your heart I know you think things will only get worse But what we have is worth enough to me Bet you didn't know anyone loved you that much If you'll let me, I'll break through the cold If I'd let you, would you just hold me? There's a sadness inside you I can't get passed Until you decide to let me in Don't you think it's time to move on? There's a silence where your reply should have been And a part of you is already gone. You don't have to be alone. There's a darkness taking over and I don't know why But together we're stronger than the unknown I know deep inside you feel it too We'll get through tomorrow. You and I~ We can melt the world [This message has been edited by Kandi (edited 11-24-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kristin - All Rights Reserved | |||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Wow.. this is a very impressive piece. I love the flow to this one. I hope that you get through to this person. Thanks for sharing. "Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather "Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Hey, this poem is written very well, the beginning caught my attention well and it was held right until the end. Great job  "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker [URL=http://www.thehungersite.com]http://www |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
"We'll get through tomorrow. You and I~ We can melt the world" -- What a wonderful way to end a great piece of writing. This is indeed impressive!  *Krista Knutson* "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar." Helen Keller |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked the title. it caught my eye and a wonderful poem to go along with it!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
Hey guys thanks for taking the time to read and reply... Lovebug ~ thanks hun, I can always count on you for a nice message. I hope I get through to him too Lakewalker ~ thanks for sticking it out and reading the whole thing! lol, again I apreciate you taking the time to write. Alwye ~ your kindness is much appreciated! The end is my favorite part too Dopey ~ Your input means a lot to me as you are a writer who has gained my respect and admiration Thanks for the reply.Love ya all Kris ~*Things you see the way you see them will never be seen again*~ ~Won't you come and hold my hand? This world has taken me as far as it can... w |
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PureM Junior Member
since 2000-11-23
Posts 22London, UK |
Kandi, this was great! Again many things I can relate to... "Have you completely forgotten what we found in each other? Could you be any more cold? Push me away a little I'm getting closer than ever and that's too close for comfort Would you mind slamming the door? Maybe then I could finally walk away and ignore you." YES YES YES! "But what we have is worth enough to me Bet you didn't know anyone loved you that much" I know this well... And i loved the way you ended it too, I hope my world melts soon. |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Kandi~ I really believe that you will be able to get through to whoever this is for. I thought that this was a really good piece of work. Keep it up. This poem reminded me of a book that I wanted to finish. A real attention getter. Thanks for sharing it with us. People leave our lives as quickly as they come, but the ones that mean something leave footprints in our hearts. |
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~KNIGHT44~ New Member
since 2000-11-21
Posts 6ohio |
Little Sis~ OMG! That is all I can say! I guess we have two poets in our family! This poem is so good it makes me feel like I become part of it and it is really deep. I know exactly who you r talking about and I think this is such a great way of expressing your feelings! You r so talented and I am so proud! Love Always, Your big bro, Ryan p.s.~like my icon? ~Friends are angels who pick you up when your wings forget how to fly~ |
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Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
Guys, thanks so much for replying... Matt - I am so glad you could connect with this poem! Your input means lots to me now that I know you a little better. I love talking to you - you should be getting a LONG email from me later tonight. Thanks for the kind words. ERIN - I appreciate the time you took to say such nice things about this piece. Thanks for believing in me, I think I'll get through to this person too...it may just take some time. lol Are you going to finish that book now??? KNIGHT aka big bro - SOOOO nice to see your name on a reply to my poem!!! I can't tell you how much it means to me that you're a member of the forum now! Thanks for all the encouragement and support and for believing in my writing so much. You know I love you. It IS kind of obvious who this is about, huh??? lol oh well  Love you all Kris ~*Things you see the way you see them will never be seen again*~ ~Won't you come and hold my hand? This world has taken me as far as it can... w |
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BaByGuRL Junior Member
since 2000-11-25
Posts 13 |
heyhey sweetie...i just wanted to say that this poem is so good and im not just saying that cuz ur my sister- it really does rock! you have such talent as a writer so keep it up. ya know i luv ya bff-ur sister |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
awesome poem! i loved it. is it ok if i print it out? cause i raelly liked it. Keep up the great work!! XoXo's **DQ** "A true friend can see the truth and pain in your eyes, even when you're fooling everyone else" |
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silvrduck Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146 |
Wow Kandy! very good poem!! the title is really catching. keep up the great work and good luck with this person! ~Sarah with the unknown comes no expectations in this i find my peace |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I've seen the growth in your expressions. You never cease to amaze me. I love your ending about melting the world. Damn!!! that was really good. Now, i have to figure out how to at least match that, which is gonna be really hard. thanks for the awesome read. By the way, how many family members of yours are in here? I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
you should be very proud.no wonder your sister and your brother are proud. you are an amazing poet....i CANT wait to see more.. Ina aka Regina |
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Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
Wow! Many new people to thank... BaByGuRl aka sista ~ Thanks for replying hun. SOOO cool to have you here in the forum. Keep writing - you're better than you give yourself credit for. DQ ~ I am so flattered that you want to print this. Of course you can! It'd be an honor! Thanks for the support. Sarah - I appreciate you taking the time to write such a nice reply. I am pretty confident that things will work out just fine  Acire - hun you're one of the best poets I've read in the forums so you know your praise means a lot to me...thanks for your unfailing support and all the long chats And I only have two family members in here - my big brother and my lil sister...but it doesnt matter cuz we're all family here right? Regina - Wow, thanks for such a sweet reply! Makes me all warm and fuzzy inside to read such kind compliments So glad you liked this one Love you all Kris ~*Things you see the way you see them will never be seen again*~ ~Won't you come and hold my hand? This world has taken me as far as it can... w |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Yeah Kandi I finished it but this reminded me of it. People leave our lives as quickly as they come, but the ones that mean something leave footprints in our hearts. |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Why the heck did I miss this?? It was incredible!! I just loved it! And the ending was perfect. Great job. ~Carly |
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