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Teen Poetry #3
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Lucius Cade
Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 235
Saskatchewan

0 posted 2000-11-17 04:14 AM



On a cracked, dusty stool I make a decision, at 1 in the morning with my future invisioned.....

In the days that follow
the ever darkening days.....
a breeding ground for insanity
will erupt in my mind

Across the counter, the bartender, laughs at my choice for he knows what I am thinking......

Explosions that will crack
my once calm rationale
are inevitable.....
I will feel my nerves slipping

Slipping down to my fists
which will no longer be pacified.....
Now with uncontrolled urges
They inflict pain against my will

The bartender writes something down on a napkin. He slides it to me and says "Thats all that will happen, if you act on this thought." I squint to make out the scribbles, they read........

The real victom is you
in a state of depression
beyond theropy.....
You'll play out your obsession

With all the strength I can muster
I ask the bartender.....


Do you think its all worth it?

"No"

Yeah your right, so pour me another.

---------------

Hi, this poem doesnt represent me or my life at all. I am not an alcoholic. I just thought it would be fun to actually think as one would who was trying to quit drinking. How impossible the task would seem to them......
Anyways, just wanted to clear that up. This style is wierd, I have never done anything like this really. I hope you like it.


< !signature-->

Lucidity is the answer to all problems

[This message has been edited by Lucius Cade (edited 11-17-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Lucius Cade - All Rights Reserved
Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
1 posted 2000-11-17 12:15 PM


I actually did like this style a lot and I'm glad to hear you're not going through this problem.  You did a really good job on this poem, I like it.

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!

http://www.thehungersite.com

IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

2 posted 2000-11-17 05:40 PM


I like it.  I haven't seen anything quite like it before.  That's a good thing.  I thaught of writing a simular poem, about smoking... I'm trying to quit.  you did a good job describing the fight of will against temptation.  
IsGona

"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN"
~Hatebreed~

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
3 posted 2000-11-18 11:43 AM



  This was great, I really liked how you described that longing feeling..Terrific words and a terrific poem.

  ~Carly

A word is dead
When it is said
Some say,
I say it just
Begins to live
That day.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
4 posted 2000-11-19 02:37 PM



LC-
  WOW!  This is excellent!!  
  You've done a great job of
  expressing these emotions...
  and the struggle within a person
  in this situation.
  Well done!  

  Take care,
  -vicky



Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2000-11-25 12:53 PM


Hey i liked the style of this one. Very good!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


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