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Teen Poetry #3
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peanogrl83
Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202


0 posted 2000-11-14 10:12 PM


Ewwwww.


Safety Net

Tinkling tin, our gay laughter rings true,
Through the thin visor that blocks your view.
If only your self imposed deity allowed,
Banish the hubris of which you’re so proud.
But the pull of your ego is far too strong,
Never take a misstep, you do no wrong.
In your eyes you See that you’re always right,
Always needy, the victim of some slight.
Foolishly think Love will break your fall,
Your screams resonate, hollow, within your walls.
I hear their echo with my ear to the door,
The sickening thud as you collide with the floor.
I knock with force, but your portal is locked,
You’ve bolted shut your mind, my aid is blocked.
Pick yourself up, brush off the pain, the dust,
Sardonically granting your god all your trust.
You prepare yourself for another fatal descent,
Faith in miracles and angels, you are content.
As hell pulls you down, you smile, you Know,
That there is no hope, no safety net below.

© Copyright 2000 peanogrl83 - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2000-11-15 03:55 PM


This poem kinda sent a chill down my spine. Like....even though you may think your safe, you're not. It's a great poem and I loved it.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

2 posted 2000-11-15 04:05 PM


I agree with Dopey, this is a very chilling poem. We assume that everything that we cherish will protect us in return, and it may not be the case. Very thought-provoking, my friend, and definently

NOT

"eww"!

False gems may shine as brightly as the genuine article, but there are always those who can tell the difference.



Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
3 posted 2000-11-16 05:47 PM


Definently thought-proviking, as usual.  And a very well done poem, as usual.  keep them coming

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!

http://www.thehungersite.com

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
4 posted 2000-11-17 04:32 PM


wonderful as usual.  you have a wonderful way with words.  But, the next time i see you put a negative comment on your poems, i won't reply to it anymore.  it makes me feel like nothing for if you feel your poems are that bad, what about mine then  

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR


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