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Teen Poetry #3
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Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA

0 posted 2000-11-10 09:06 PM


I keep on hitting repeat
On the song that means so much to me
Thinking of you each and every time
During the verses of each line
What I wouldn't do just to hear your voice tonight
Having your words wrap around my soul real tight
As I find myself crashing into love tonight
You told me that a simple friendship is for our best benefit
And my simple gratitude goes out to you
Just for that simple reply
Though as my heart listened intently, my soul began to cry
Please don't ask me why
I mourned days before, for I found the unspoken answer knocking upon my bedroom door
I was quite content with the unknown outcome
But tonight I feel as if I'm terribly alone
It really doesn't come as a shock
Nor as a surprise
Maybe I do look upon you with different eyes
But I only look upon you with the words you made yourself out to be
So I'm sorry if I took it all wrong
Or made you think otherwise
You and I are far from perfect
I know that much
But no matter how hard I try
My heart is still crashing into love tonight
And falling into the violent waves
And I doubt if I can ever be saved...

© Copyright 2000 Kristen Brandon - All Rights Reserved
Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
1 posted 2000-11-11 01:21 PM



  Crashing into love tonight..now there's a perfect phrase. The wording in this was incredibly powerful and I especially loved the end. Great work, and good luck in everything...

  ~Carly

A word is dead
When it is said
Some say,
I say it just
Begins to live
That day.

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
2 posted 2000-11-11 01:31 PM


This sounds tough!  The poem seemed very strong to me, the emotion sounded sincere, it flowed well, and I just love how it's written.  I hope you don't drown in the waves *throws a life jacket*.  Great work!

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!

http://www.thehungersite.com

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2000-11-11 06:45 PM


Lake said it all........but for me....it'd be drowning in the tears *puts on his life jacket*



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


curlygurly
Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 276
USA
4 posted 2000-11-11 09:07 PM


Great poem! it was really deep and ummm emotional i guess you could say. great work
Curly


"So many tears i've cried, so much pain inside"
-Lenny Kravitz


silvrduck
Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146

5 posted 2000-11-11 09:21 PM


My goodness.. I LOVE THIS POEM! It's beautifully written and so sincere...
(My best friend is going through the same thing, and in a way, so am i.)
Gosh this is a good poem... wow. Good Job  
Hope everything turns out alright! Take care...
~Sarah

silvrduck
Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146

6 posted 2000-11-11 09:21 PM


My goodness.. I LOVE THIS POEM! It's beautifully written and so sincere...
(My best friend is going through the same thing, and in a way, so am i.)
Gosh this is a good poem... wow. Good Job  
Hope everything turns out alright! Take care...
~Sarah

ZAOfreak
Junior Member
since 2000-11-08
Posts 22
CA, USA
7 posted 2000-11-11 11:29 PM


From the bottom of my throbbing heart, I feel for you... that's all I can say.
Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
8 posted 2000-11-28 11:16 AM


simply perfect.....OMG I'm totally out of words.  You took my breath away.....I don't know what to say

You've become one of my favorite writers in passions...i sincerely love your poems

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR


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