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Teen Poetry #3
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keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

0 posted 2000-11-08 06:55 PM


I used to live in a small mountain town. I HATED IT. I wrote this just before I moved to the city to go to school. It's not the best poem,but I had fun writing it.

I'm so fed up with being so down
I wanna change my life, I wanna leave this town
Staying here don't do no good for me
I'm gonna break these small town chains, I gotta be free
In this town my pain fills the air
Suffocating me with overwhelming despair
There's the girl I can't have and my folks can't have me
The job that sucks and my friends won't let me be
I'm gonna move on, I'm gonna change my way
Gettin' the hell outta here, and I'm starting today
Packing my bags and I'm headin' to the city
For the bright lights, big sounds, where all the girls are pretty
The city is packed with crime that kills
But instead of running for them I'm running from the hills
Running from my problems, running like hell
They say it won't solve em' but maybe it will
I can forget the girl and drop my fam
Even quit my job cause I don't give a damn
I'm gonna have a life that I can call my own
And I will have more fun than I have ever known
Opportunities rising in the air
Things may get tough but I don't care
Cause I'm gonna make it, I'm gonna succeed
I'm gonna live my life happy and free
I will rise to the challenge and won't back down
And I'll never think twice about that little town

© Copyright 2000 Jon - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2000-11-08 07:33 PM


This was great. A little bitterness against that town but hey.....thats fine with me. I hate small towns too. There's nothing to do there! I live in the big city so it's all good. Glad yer livin it up!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2000-11-09 06:45 AM


Powerfully written Keoni! You've expressed your emotions well, and closed with such a positive "got get em'" attitude. Sometimes we need that, to get rolling and begin to make a life for ourselves ... though I've found it's always so nice to get back to friends and family for a visit once settled in to the new life too. Very emotive writing!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

branden726
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607
Bay City, MI
3 posted 2000-11-09 06:54 AM


Well, i thought i expresseds my feelings fully but i dont think i do cuz right here you have showed me up. You have wrote about moving and running from fears something i write against doing but i still love the poem its powerfull. Hey, so what happend are you happy now?

"put the name of the person u love, not in a heart because they alway break but put it in a circle which last forever"



Rhiannon
Member
since 1999-07-28
Posts 95
Fayetteville, TN USA
4 posted 2000-11-09 07:48 AM


I know all about the small towns   and there are so many bad things about them....but there are good things too.  You expressed a lot of the bad feelings i've had about them.  I liked it.
love
leslie

The night is my companion
The solitude my guide
Would I spend forever here
And not be satisfied?
Sarah MacLachlan, "Possession"


Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
5 posted 2000-11-09 03:50 PM


Wow, sounds like you really hated that small town!  It sounds like you must like it in the city   Good poem, it really expresses  your dislike of that town and gives a sense of optimism by moving on.

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!

http://www.thehungersite.com

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
6 posted 2000-11-09 04:50 PM


Thanx for the replies. It is nice to be in the city now because it makes visiting that much nicer. I can actually be proud of the town now that I am not stuck in it. It is a dead end town and leaving it gives me a sense of satisfaction every time I think about it. Thanks again
                                 Keoni

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