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Teen Poetry #3
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peanogrl83
Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202


0 posted 2000-11-06 07:37 PM


Sorry guys, the God Of Bad Poetry has been smiling on me.....
Vreni


You

Silent now, my tongue quivers,
Sharpened lies imbibed in slivers.
Your self-pitied sorrow I did swallow,
Indeed, endured your concern so shallow.
By the light that is my hollow life,
I studied your pain, imagined strife.
I saw you construct a being fragile,
Out of individuality’s core so agile.
Loathing of strength, you prefer the weak,
Fear future truths you are soon to speak.
Fleeing yourself and self-inflicted scars,
Encountering insanity’s cold prison bars.
Upon ideals you tripped, downward fell,
In frantic thoughts your frailty dwells.
You ran too fast, collided with the wall,
An empty smile can’t break your fall.
An oblique void engulfs you whole,
Pulls you hellbound, murders your soul.



© Copyright 2000 peanogrl83 - All Rights Reserved
Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
1 posted 2000-11-06 07:51 PM


  Okay, now I'm mad. heh not really. But it just makes me crazy that you can write sooooo well, and it all comes like second nature to ya!! Sheesh! Well anyways, I hope the God of Bad Poetry makes a stop at my house sometime soon. Great job.  

  ~Carly< !signature-->

747 fell out of Heaven
Crashed through the roof of a 7-11
You're working on a slurpee
Things get hazy
Reach for a twinkie now you're pushing up daisies?
Do you know where you're gonna go?


[This message has been edited by Child of the Stars (edited 11-06-2000).]

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
2 posted 2000-11-06 09:58 PM


I wish I had your talent, yet you say you suck.  I just don't get it!  Very well done on this poem!!

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!

http://www.thehungersite.com

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
3 posted 2000-11-06 10:19 PM


Vreni~
Would you mind sending the God of Bad Poetry my way??? I could use a little of his horrible work...Cuz thats how you put it and this is nowhere near being bad...I give you 2 thumbs up for your work...You as I said have a way with the words...Keep it up!!!


~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2000-11-07 01:21 AM


It seems you are in a very torubled time. I hope all runs well from here on out and if not feel free to e-mail me on your thoughts and life. Much love!

GREAT poem!



"I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust."

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
5 posted 2000-11-08 06:20 PM


if you are a bad poet? what am i, the crap in the bottom of the poetry barrel that you need to scrape off?  You have an exceptional talent and i know you know this.  Accept who you truly are.  thanks for the read. keep it up, except for the self bashing introductory lines  

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR


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