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Teen Poetry #3
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peanogrl83
Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202


0 posted 2000-11-06 12:22 PM


Wow. Two horrid poems in one night.
Vreni

Fake

A porcelain face, etched in glass
Hides an internal monster, alas.
Self-depredating and defeating,
This demon at your mind is eating.
Pretentious and witty you do seem
That perfect smile shines and gleams.
But woe betide he who looks beyond,
Sees the truth of which we are so unfond.
Your mask has fallen with a shatter,
As superficial ideals fail to matter.
Your fairy tale life has ceased to exist,
As popularity wanes, fails to subsist.
You run to the shelter of your soul,
But it shuts you out, refuses to console.


© Copyright 2000 peanogrl83 - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2000-11-06 01:32 AM


I had a dejavu would reading this poem. Odd eh?
Anyway this was great.....Ugh! NOT SUCKY!!!



"I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust."

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2000-11-06 06:06 AM


Excellent Vreni! This has a lovely flow and your use of language is very good. I really enjoyed this piece, well done!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
3 posted 2000-11-06 03:03 PM


Hey, yeah, wow, great job on this as always, it's excellent !

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!

Slim
Junior Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 49
Kentucky, USA
4 posted 2000-11-06 09:28 PM


oooo... nicely done. i really liked this!! great word choice!!  

Slim

"just because you dont know it or havent seen it, doesnt mean it isnt possible"

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
5 posted 2000-11-06 09:53 PM


I dont think that I have ever read a bad poem by you...Including this one...You have a way with the words that I wish I had...Thanks for sharing this...Dont be so hard on yourself you are a good writer...I hope the next poem I read by you doesnt say that "its horrid" as you put it...Keep it up!!!

~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2000-11-07 06:43 PM


i agree with Erin.  I think i haven't read any of your poems that i didn't like.  They all so magnificently done  



I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR


curlygurly
Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 276
USA
7 posted 2000-11-07 06:57 PM


well from reading some of your poems, i like ur style girl! this was no exception! great poem  
Curly


"So many tears i've cried, so much pain inside"
-Lenny Kravitz


pharon
Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 251
alabama
8 posted 2000-11-07 09:38 PM


wow...you just described me

[This message has been edited by pharon (edited 11-07-2000).]

Rhiannon
Member
since 1999-07-28
Posts 95
Fayetteville, TN USA
9 posted 2000-11-07 10:20 PM


Reminds me of a poem I wrote once.

      "Pop culture fantasies
      Eloquence in nude form
      And the endless compromise of what we are
      Follow me in a collage of shadows
      A tornado of plastic and lipstick
      Powder smeared across my mirror
      To blur the image of my hated side
      My mask is peeling and cracking and
      They don't like what they see
      They don't like what they see in me
      So I smear it all across my face
      And hide the truth from them"

Wonderful poem.  I can definitely relate to it.


The night is my companion
The solitude my guide
Would I spend forever here
And not be satisfied?
Sarah MacLachlan, "Possession"


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