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Teen Poetry #3
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Rodeo Jones
Junior Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 18
San Jose, CA, USA

0 posted 2000-10-29 11:41 PM


I suppose its rather ludicrous of me to be posting a poem when I rarely post anything at all, but I really want to get it out there.  Please, any and all reactions to the poem.  Negative is good.  If you don't feel comfortable posting scathing responses to this poem, but want to contribute them nonetheless, e-mail me at yourpoetrysucks@unet.cjb.net.

-Walking Sigh-

I am just a walking sigh
Heaving my breath as the days go by
Boring excitement, tireless sleep
I'm tied to the ground but wish I were high

I need to escape from the world that I see
Of all of my wants, I want most to be free
Moody and steady, Serene and uneasy
I just want to leave this shell that is me

I bask in the sunlight and try to forget
That which I want but never will get
Wealthy and poor, living but dead
I sigh once again, and face my regret


Thanks for your time.


"Where is fancy bread, in the heart, or in the head?"

© Copyright 2000 Rodeo Jones - All Rights Reserved
Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
1 posted 2000-10-30 07:32 PM



  Wow. I LOVED it. wow. wow. phew. wow.

   ~Carly

The grindstone of life will either polish us or wear us down, depending on what we're made of.


keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
2 posted 2000-10-30 07:35 PM


That is great! I really liked this poem. Excellent, maybe you should post more often.
                                           Keoni

Pixie-Babe03
Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387
Central Maine
3 posted 2000-10-30 07:50 PM


one word for this poem: NICE!!!! it is so great    keep it up!!
~*Pixie*~

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2000-10-30 09:20 PM


This was a great poem. I liked the message and the style a lot. The ryhme scheme was very nice and id like to see more of your work around here.......
be happy buddy.....you seem a bit tight.... we're all friendly down here.



"I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust."

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

Rodeo Jones
Junior Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 18
San Jose, CA, USA
5 posted 2000-10-30 09:50 PM


I can't say happiness is something I do so well.  Isn't that a lyric to a song?  Who knows.

Maybe I will post more - who knows...

"Where is fancy bread, in the heart, or in the head?"

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
6 posted 2000-10-31 02:39 PM


I liked this a lot and encourage you to post more   I would say this is a very good poem overall.  I'd just like to say one thing negative about the poem, I had a hard time with the flow of it for some reason, but that is most likely just me not being able to concentrate   But anyway, good job and post some more for us to see please!

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
7 posted 2000-11-01 09:02 AM


This is the first I have read by you and I cant wait to read more...I hope that you do share it with us too...

~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~

Slim
Junior Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 49
Kentucky, USA
8 posted 2000-11-01 08:44 PM


wow.. i really liked this... this is the first i have also seen of you on here. i rarely post too, but im trying to more often. you should also.. it'd be nice to see more from you.. keep it up!  

Slim

Slim
Junior Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 49
Kentucky, USA
9 posted 2000-11-01 08:45 PM


wow.. i really liked this... this is the first i have also seen of you on here. i rarely post too, but im trying to more often. you should also.. it'd be nice to see more from you.. keep it up!  

Slim

"just because you dont know it or havent seen it, doesnt mean it isnt possible"

Slim
Junior Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 49
Kentucky, USA
10 posted 2000-11-01 08:45 PM


Sorry for the double post!
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