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xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

0 posted 2000-10-29 06:36 PM

Your my cure,
And also my disease.
Your what i push away,
Your what i please.
You the best thing to happen to me,
You've exhausted my soul.
Secrets that can never hide,
Friendship never growing old.
Your my one desire,
And my only flaw.
Your the thing i fear,
But crave most of all.
Your the weakness inside me,
My lonelyness within.
Its so hard to explain you,
i dont know where to begin.

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

1 posted 2000-10-29 06:45 PM

Hey. This was great! Unexplainable things are bad...heh..but good, so good. Keep up the terrific writing..

~Carly

The grindstone of life will either polish us or wear us down, depending on what we're made of.

DreamerGrl27
Member

since 2000-10-29

Posts 142

2 posted 2000-10-29 10:21 PM

This was really good. My favorite part was :

"Your the thing i fear,
But crave most of all."

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

3 posted 2000-10-30 08:17 PM

This is very good! I like how it goes back and forth between good and bad, and the ending is really good. I don't know if this is your style or if you're misusing the word, but "your" should be "you're". Please don't be offended by my comment if this is the way you write, because you're certianly able to write however you want. So anyway, I love the poem, it's very good

"Your my one desire,
And my only flaw."

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2000-10-30 10:06 PM

I thought this kicked serious butt!!! I liked this one a lot. LIke lake said, i liked how it went back and forth from something positive to say to something negative. very nice and well written. I liked it tons upon tons!
One of my fav by you.

"I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust."

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

5 posted 2000-10-31 10:47 PM

BRAVO!!! This is absolutely beautiful. Every line connects with the other. Magnificent

It kinda reminds me of the movie "Shakespear In Love" when he says, "Like a sickness and its cure together."

You deserve a standing ovation on this

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR

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