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Teen Poetry #3
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Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

0 posted 2000-10-28 11:54 PM


Daring Wish:


The dark demons cloud my view.
A god of hell fully renewed.
Shimmering sadness runs along.
Trickling tear sings her song
Of times where love would surely meet
The art of arts, the soul complete.

Stained ash pages from a book.
Pen was taken, inspiration took.
The life unlived, the death untold.
Withering within a self made mold.
Mind is torn, a heart break dish.
The simple wrath of a daring wish.





"I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust."

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

© Copyright 2000 Pepe de la Muerte - All Rights Reserved
Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

1 posted 2000-10-28 11:57 PM


Wow!  I've read it twice..I think I need to read it again.  It's great, like ALWAYS.  What inspired this?
Bel

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2000-10-29 08:30 AM


"Of times where love would surely meet
The art of arts, the soul complete."

Wow! Powerful thoughts in this piece Javier, great imagery and a lovely flow to your words. Very dark, but nicely composed!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
3 posted 2000-10-29 01:18 PM


Wow, this was such a great one.  I would copy my favorite part but the whole thing is excellent.  Really good work!< !signature-->

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!

[This message has been edited by Lakewalker (edited 10-29-2000).]

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
4 posted 2000-10-29 07:05 PM



  Hey. I'm in awe once again. I think this is one of my faves by you.. you bess neva lose all this talent.

  ~Carly

The grindstone of life will either polish us or wear us down, depending on what we're made of.


Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2000-10-30 10:17 PM


Hey guys thanks. Yea i think this poem is pretty ok. Thanks for the replies.



"I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust."

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

Rodeo Jones
Junior Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 18
San Jose, CA, USA
6 posted 2000-10-30 10:24 PM


Ditto to the others, nice poem, I like how it comes back around in the end.

"Where is fancy bread, in the heart, or in the head?"

Jose Marti
Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374
washing DC
7 posted 2000-10-31 12:10 PM


wow, tis poem is really good.
I wish I could write like that dopey
I'm impressed

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