The Dirge of Fake Reality - pipTalk Forums

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Teen Poetry #3

The Dirge of Fake Reality

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

0 posted 2000-10-24 06:46 PM

NOTE: Think what you will of this poem, but this is one i'd like to burn haha.

The Dirge of Fake Reality:

Trees cut to die.
The manufactured lie.
Praising my ode of me.
Sipping eternity.

Fake world of here.
Inspired only with fear.
Faults that kill within.
Godly light is dim.

A navigators dream.
The truthrul lie it seemed.
Haters fantasy.
Appearances of glee.

Deadly swans of hell.
A friendly man had fell.
Inspiration of thought.
Something that can't be bought.

"I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust."

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

1 posted 2000-10-24 06:57 PM

I like. GOod job man. There's no work of yours that I don't like tho... well stay koo k? k. ciao ciao.

~Carly

The grindstone of life will either polish us or wear us down, depending on what we're made of.

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

2 posted 2000-10-25 01:55 PM

This one is ok, but to be honest with you, I don't think rhyming the words adds much to this poem. Maybe I'm just used to some of your other styles, but it seems more true and expressive when you don't force the rhyme. Please don't go nuts on me because I said this, you said yourself that you'd like to destroy it

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!