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Teen Poetry #3
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Chel
Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511
Baltimore, MD, USA

0 posted 2000-10-21 06:53 PM


Broken Up

It seems the first time I talked to you I knew we clicked
Everything was going well until you said goodbye
I wanted to be with you, but work got in the way
You had warned me in the beginning, but I just didn't listen
I asked you to break up wiht me so that I wouldn't become hurt
You said you didn't want to we better wait
I hope that your promise is true
That you will come back to me sometime later
When I found out you got the job
My heart broke in two
You told me that you cared about me
I said the same for you
I hope that someday we will be back together
Because being broken up is killing my heart



"True friends stab you in the front"
"True love last forever"

© Copyright 2000 Michelle Y. Plocinik - All Rights Reserved
Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
1 posted 2000-10-21 07:09 PM


Chel~Girl its so good to see you back...Especially with an outstanding poem like this...Having a broken heart is the worst until someone else comes and heals the pain...

~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~

branden726
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607
Bay City, MI
2 posted 2000-10-21 07:41 PM


Hey Hey Hey, i am back and i am fat...lol great poem and u have the privelige or however u spell it to be the first reply ive mad in a long time and im sorry for that i will reply more often now seeee ya great poem best ive read in a while 2  

"what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger"

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
3 posted 2000-10-21 09:32 PM


You wrote about this so well, it's well expressed.  Great poem

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2000-10-22 12:15 PM


Like everybody else said, great job and keep posting



"I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust."

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

anomaly187
Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284
San Francisco,CA,US
5 posted 2000-10-22 01:32 AM


hey you expressed a lot of emotion in this...great writing

"It's better to burn out then fade away"

Chel
Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511
Baltimore, MD, USA
6 posted 2000-10-22 11:19 AM


Thank you everyone for the replies.  I really take your critism to heart and I know that I still have a lot of work to do in my writing, but since you all liked this one that I typed right off the top of my head I am glad to see that you liked it.  I want you all to keep your heads up, and keep writing because its a great thing.  Thanx again.  Chel

"True friends stab you in the front"
"True love last forever"

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
7 posted 2000-10-22 09:35 PM


It's nice to see someone who doesn't try to get in the way of the other person's choices in life.  You must really like him so much. He should know this when you gave him that chance.  I think by not letting him choose between you or the job makes him respect you more.  He'll be back.  

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR


Tamma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794
In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV
8 posted 2000-10-23 06:13 PM


great poem...icky situation   it will all work out

If you love someone dont put their name in a heart,
put their name in a circle, because a heart can be broken
but a circle is continious.



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