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Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

0 posted 2000-10-18 01:58 PM


Lost in Circular Wrath:


Lost within the I in me.
Gone forever we try.
Straight lines of eternity.
I'm living a hateful lie.

Passing by the doors of chance
There stands a golden egg.
Look but not stare, a simple glance.
I ask but never beg.

Musing over the wrong choice in path
Was never thought to be tame.
We sit here in a circular wrath.
It'll never be the same.




"I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust."

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

© Copyright 2000 Pepe de la Muerte - All Rights Reserved
Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
1 posted 2000-10-18 02:03 PM


Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!   You have 666 posts right now.  You better change that fast   Anyway, nice poem

"Lost within the I in me.
Gone forever we try.
Straight lines of eternity.
I'm living a hateful lie."

After reading this I'm wondering what lie you're living???  

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2000-10-18 02:09 PM


Well straight lines of eternity symbolize this relationship i had. It's like.....a line segment would mean that the relationship started and ended...but in my eyes i wanted it to last FOREVER, thus contradicting a line segment. So the lines are eternal but it ended.....and i was living this stupid lie.
OH and you made me laugh tons about the 666 thing hahaha.....im changing it right now! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!



"I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust."

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

Morouxshi San
Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2000-10-18 03:04 PM


living a lie.
arent we all?

i loved it but i would have changed one line if i were the author, and this would probably contradict many of my own things, but i would have put "segments of eternity",cause lines do go on forever and i would have explained myself already in the poem... (thing i rarely do)
really nice job nevertheless, it may be that im taking physics and i have to be carefull bout lines and segments...
< !signature-->

San, the wise
San, the dumb
San, the guy...


[This message has been edited by Morouxshi San (edited 10-18-2000).]

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
4 posted 2000-10-18 07:31 PM



   Hey Javi. This was so great! I loved the line thing, it's really, really creative. Tootelz and happy writing!!

   ~Carly

"I see," said the blind man to his deaf wife reading the newspaper.

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
5 posted 2000-10-18 07:43 PM


I liked this one and totally understood where you were comin' from. Keep it flowing
Keoni

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