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Teen Poetry #3
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Child of the Stars
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Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

0 posted 2000-10-16 08:12 PM


These demons I create
within my mind
They hold me down
(Don't hold me down)
Tearing the brainwaves
ripping the skin
My armor of happiness: shattered.

Cruel words I state
my anger binds
And holds me down
(Stop holding down)
Slashing the brainwaves
stretching the skin
My armor of kindness' been shattered.


"I see," said the blind man to his deaf wife reading the newspaper.

© Copyright 2000 Carly Anne Van Dort - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2000-10-16 08:37 PM


Well i have seen better from you young lady but still.....a nice poem all together. I liked what you put in parenthesis.....kinda made me smirk a bit.Good job



"I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust."

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

2 posted 2000-10-16 09:43 PM


I agree w/ dopey on this.  not that the poem was bad, but you have set pretty high standards for your self. anyhow I;m glad you shared it

"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN"
~Hatebreed~
"I am, who I am
and what you think,
I don't give a damn"
Chilli Peppers


DragonFang
Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522
Missouri, USA
3 posted 2000-10-16 10:12 PM


Wow, that's a very interesting poem, heh, i can relate to it too, very nice.

"Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \
I am lost in my own mind.

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
4 posted 2000-10-17 03:23 PM


Well I hope you at least gave a good fight against these demons (even though you created, but hey, you can still fight em).  Anyway, I like the pome

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!

Child of the Stars
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Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
5 posted 2000-10-17 06:11 PM



  Thanx for your replies eveerybody.  The things I put together in just a few minutes usually don't turn out like I'd like them to, like this one...The fight with the demons is almost over...Time to lay the smack down on madness...

   ~Carly

"I see," said the blind man to his deaf wife reading the newspaper.

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