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Teen Poetry #3
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chic
Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245
yellville, Ar, U.S.

0 posted 2000-10-16 12:37 PM



Hearts afire
Hearts aglow.
A feeling of love
I do not know.

Flirty words
melting smile.
All of these
my life defiles.

Chances I've had
promises made.
But their just words
as the feelings fade.

Tears of pain
despairingly fall.
My feelings raise
a defensive wall.

"Life is a game and we have to play, but in the end...we all die."-by me!

© Copyright 2000 Barbara Mendoza - All Rights Reserved
Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
1 posted 2000-10-16 01:00 PM


...sounds like you aren't going through the best of times.  This poem is good though.  Someday you're going to have to break down those walls, so don't build them up to tall!
"Tears of pain
despairingly fall.
My feelings raise
a defensive wall."



"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Me!!

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
2 posted 2000-10-16 01:48 PM


I thought this was great. A lot of people build walls to protect themselfes from getting hurt by someone else, its something that is understandable but you cant do forever.

Tears of pain
despairingly fall.
My feelings raise
a defensive wall.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2000-10-16 05:09 PM


Great poem! i liked how it flowed so wonderfully! You are getting better as you go along. Keep it up!



"I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust."

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
4 posted 2000-10-16 07:55 PM



   Hey this was really great. I loved the short, pulsing lines. Keep your head up...happy writing...

   ~Carly

"I see," said the blind man to his deaf wife reading the newspaper.

chic
Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245
yellville, Ar, U.S.
5 posted 2000-10-17 02:26 PM


Thanx guys and your right i'm not going through the best of times, but i'm trying to keep my head up. Thanx again.

barb

"Life is a game and we have to play, but in the end...we all die."-by me!

sweetcollege_girl
Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872
just about where I want to be
6 posted 2000-10-17 02:44 PM


Nice poem sis...i think   lol...J/K Is dad getting on your nerves again? Or is this just how you feel right now?

Again great poem! I got tomorrow and thursday off if you and dad want to come see me...Rick isn't home yet, so I'm kinda bored...I even cleaned the house  

~*~SCG~*~

chic
Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245
yellville, Ar, U.S.
7 posted 2000-10-18 11:51 AM


This is how I feel all the time.  I'll ask DAD about going over there.  Guess what Stan left Sunday for Little Rock and all the Duffy's are going to give him my address so he can write me.  I had a dream about him and I've been living on that since then...I'll tell you more later.

"Life is a game and we have to play, but in the end...we all die."-by me!

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

8 posted 2000-10-18 03:38 PM


Great poem...I think I can relate.  Keep your head up, as ur doin.....
Bel

sweetcollege_girl
Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872
just about where I want to be
9 posted 2000-10-18 06:11 PM


That's cool! PLEASE COME OVER!!! Tell him I'm begging...and you know how I hate to do that!  

~*~SCG~*~

chic
Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245
yellville, Ar, U.S.
10 posted 2000-10-20 02:06 PM


Thanx Bel!

I dunno sis when you were living at home you seemed to beg me alot to do whatever you didn't want to or to take the rap for you so guess what...BEG AWAY!!!!!

"Life is a game and we have to play, but in the end...we all die."-by me!

Morouxshi San
Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207
San Juan, Puerto Rico
11 posted 2000-10-20 02:15 PM


very nice poem.
i really liked it.


San, the wise
San, the dumb
San, the guy...

jytree
Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 336
omaha ark usa
12 posted 2000-10-20 02:56 PM


ONE who love and turns his back,
Is smart as a dumb quack,
For if I may,
Have this time,
I want to tell you someting while I ryhm,
For all of us that have loved forgot,
Hold still while I hit you with this pot,
For all of us that have loved with lies,
A man like that should burn and die,
But a man that loved but then hid his heart,
Then truly he should be set apart.

Chic I can never forgive myself for turning my back,
I wasn't ready to go out with you and for the first time ever I ran and it kills me everyday that I did it to you.


early to rise,
early to bed,
make a man healthy,
But socially dead-Dot animantics.

Poems are F.U.B.U
( for us by us.)----ME


chic
Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245
yellville, Ar, U.S.
13 posted 2000-10-25 12:47 PM


Thanx San!


And Jay I have forgiven you and the only thing you can do is move on.  I know it sounds rough and harsh, but it's the best thing.

"Life is a game and we have to play, but in the end...we all die."-by me!

chic
Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245
yellville, Ar, U.S.
14 posted 2000-11-15 12:53 PM


*bump*
Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
15 posted 2000-11-16 05:57 PM


hey, someone's bumping their own poems, have you seen em around?  

I'm not gonna tell you this or that anymore.  You'll figure things out on your own...just don't do anything stupid <-- don't take offense on that...i didn't mean it ignorantly but out of concern.

thanks for all the poems that you've shared..they're all wonderful reads

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR


chic
Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245
yellville, Ar, U.S.
16 posted 2000-11-17 12:08 PM


*looks around avoiding acire's eyes and say's "I have no idea what your talking about!" I just thought I would bump it up for the people that hadn't read it...sorry   < !signature-->

"Life is a game and we have to play, but in the end...we all die."-by me!


[This message has been edited by chic (edited 11-17-2000).]

Lucius Cade
Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 235
Saskatchewan
17 posted 2000-11-17 01:35 PM


Chances I've had
promises made.
But their just words
as the feelings fade.


Wow, I loved that part especially. Great poem, I like the topic you wrote about.

Lucidity is the answer to all problems

IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

18 posted 2000-11-17 02:02 PM


Great job w/ this poem.  I really liked it.  keep 'em coming.  and I think acire is just concerned about the feelings that you are expressing.  
IsGona

"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN"
~Hatebreed~

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