»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #3
»
Futile Darkness
| Teen Poetry #3 |
|
Futile Darkness |
|
|
jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair 
|
Shadows lurk, in my apparition's state Infesting my head, lights commence to moderate Senses numb, composing nervosity to body Stomach stirs, pulses breeding ineffectuality Skin chills, darkness makes second to none Lonesome silence, now it's done you have come this is kinda about being alone or in the dark. jeremy r "I will know where I'm headed, 'cause I'm so tired of the suffering, I stand before you, a weakened version of your reflection." ~DMX~ "Prayer III" |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Jeremy Daniel Raulinaitis - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Wow Jeremy...awesome work....wonderful form and style....great job! salma |
||
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I liked this, even though it was short I still found it sort of suspenseful. Nice writing  Shadows lurk, in my apparition's state Infesting my head, |
||
|
jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
thanks salooma, good to hear from you again lakewalkers there always for a good word any other comments? "I will know where I'm headed, 'cause I'm so tired of the suffering, I stand before you, a weakened version of your reflection." ~DMX~ "Prayer III" |
||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well i liked the vernacular you used in this poem, thought it was very nice. Great job!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
curlygurly Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 276USA |
WOW you have a very illuminating imagination! great work! Curlz "i've kissed the moon a million times, danced with the angels in the sky" enrique iglesias |
||
|
StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
That was an excellent poem! The words you used conveyed the feelings well. It's nice to see you posting again! Love Always ~*~Jessica~*~ ~*~Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say.~*~ |
||
|
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey this was great. If you read it really, really slowly you get chills....gotta love the chill factor.... ~Carly Better days are on the way, my friend, just a ways on down the line. I believe that just around the bend, everythings gonna be fine... |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
