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Teen Poetry #3
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Singer1981
Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 148
Fredonia, NY USA

0 posted 2000-10-05 06:07 PM


This was written mostly with a tune in mind...

You promised me the world
And I've got nothing to show for it.
You promised me love
Love i've not felt for months
You promised me dreams would come true,
All I've got now are nightmares.
You promised me everything,
But all I wanted was you.

Your promised me the sun would shine
But now it's raining outside.
Your promised me hope
But all hope has gone from my eyes.
You promised me we'd be together someday
But I have always been alone.
Your promised me everything,
But all I wanted was you.

If i had only known what a dissapointment it all would be.
Would I wish things were still this way?
Would I still want you to know me?
And I think, and I know,
That no matter how much you've hurt me,
You've changed me.

You promised me light
And the clouds begin to clear away
You promised me smiles
There's a grin upon my face
You promised me happiness
And I think I've almost found it
Your promised me everything,
And now I know, I never needed you.

© Copyright 2000 Sarah Goldstein - All Rights Reserved
peanogrl83
Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202

1 posted 2000-10-05 06:51 PM


Sars! WB!! I miss you chica! As for this poem, I like it a lot - very emotional.  I do indeed relate, as I too have had someone "promise me the world" and gives me only pain.  Hug : Time will heal, I promise! I'll call you soon, okeydokey? :.)

Love ya,

Vren

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2000-10-06 12:32 PM


Seems to me that you have learned something very valuable here. Another cannot make your dreams come true. If you count on someone else to make you happy then you are lost. When you are happy as yourself; when you are complete in who you are; that is when true love will find you.

I enjoyed this piece very much.  




When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shodows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face...

William Butler Yeats

Singer1981
Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 148
Fredonia, NY USA
3 posted 2000-10-06 01:06 PM


Vren-  Thanks!  Can't wait to hear from you...although I'll be home this weekend...cuz of the holiday on monday.  It's funny cuz this wasn't really written from personal experience...but anyways
Marilyn-Thank you!  I appreciate the kind words.     It is very true, that it's hard for someone to love you until you can love yourself.  And even though this isn't from my own personal experience...it's from that of others.  Thanks again!
Sars

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
4 posted 2000-10-06 07:22 PM


I like this one, it's creative and flows really well.  Great writing
"You promised me happiness
And I think I've almost found it
Your promised me everything,
And now I know, I never needed you."



Singer1981
Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 148
Fredonia, NY USA
5 posted 2000-10-06 10:11 PM


lakewalker-  Thanks!!    I appreciate it lots!!  
Sarah

Colleen723
New Member
since 2000-10-19
Posts 1

6 posted 2000-10-23 11:34 PM


Sarah, I have finally read all of your poems.  I wanted to read them all before I replied to get a sense of the big picture.  I feel like I know you so much better now!  You poems are great, especially the ones where you really let your emotions flow.  It was neat to see how you've matured over the past couple of years and how much your writing has changed.  It gets better and better!  I especially like this last one.  I spent so much of my life waiting for someone else to make me happy, isn't it the greatest thing to learn that it all depends on you?  It's so true that people are drawn to those who are strong within themselves and have a great sense of independence.  Great work Sarah, keep it up!
branden726
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607
Bay City, MI
7 posted 2000-10-24 03:47 PM


THIS IS GONNA BE SHORT BUT HEY AT LEAST IM MAKING AN EFFORT TO SHOW MY SUPPORT GOOD WORK THIS IS A GOOD POEM
                  *~BRANDEN~*

"what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger"

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
8 posted 2000-10-24 03:50 PM


This is an excellent poem. I loved your style of writing, it flowed so nicely! It also has a powerful meaning behind it. You shouldnt rely on others for your happiness, i happen to be one of those people who sorta do that even though i know its wrong. But happiness comes from within. Excellent poem hun...keep em comin!
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
9 posted 2000-10-24 06:14 PM


Written with a tune eh? Well i read it with this hard heavy metal tune.....didn't much work out. but good poem!



"I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust."

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!

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