The In's and Out's of Crescent Falls

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Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

0 posted 2000-10-05 02:37 PM

Well this poem is posted up not for the format or style (which i do not prefer), but for the message and title. I like the title and i love the messsage. So if you dislike the poem as I do, just concintrate on the message. BYE!

The In's and Out's of Crescent Falls:

Sweet Queen of Crescent Falls
Why do your eyes glow?
Simply because poor peasant boy,
They are made of brilliant pearls.

Ah yes, sweet Queen.
And why is your skin so soft?
Simply because poor peasant boy,
I bathe in bubbles and fine oils.

Oh pardon my questioning sweet Queen,
But why is your smile so beautiful?
Simply because poor peasant boy,
My face is proportioned to perfection.

So then sweet Queen of Crescent Falls
Assist me to discover
Why your heart be ruthless and cold,
And mine so open and loving!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

1 posted 2000-10-05 04:42 PM

I like the message behind this one a lot too. The title does seem to fit perfectly. But I do like the style of it. Great poem

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member

since 2000-06-18

Posts 733

2 posted 2000-10-05 05:29 PM

Dopey- I loved this one! It's really good. I wish I had your creativity

Where'd you come up with this one? It's a good message...hasta luego amigo
Bel

Singer1981
Member

since 1999-12-02

Posts 148
Fredonia, NY USA

3 posted 2000-10-05 06:02 PM

Dopey-Very good. I did like the style...and the message behind it is very good...and sometimes altogether too true.

Great work...I can't wait to read more!
Sarah

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

4 posted 2000-10-05 07:24 PM

I too liked the style and formatting Javier ... the message comes across beautifully in these words, with great closing lines to bring it home. Nicely composed!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

5 posted 2000-10-05 09:22 PM

Definitely a good message in this poem, well done!

*Krista Knutson*

"Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart." -Confucious

Fearless_Angel
Member

since 2000-10-03

Posts 57
Calgary, AB Canada

6 posted 2000-10-05 09:31 PM

Hey Dopey_Dope:
    That was beautiful! I loved the message in it and I definiately feel that way some times...Great work! Keep writing for everyone okies?
             Lotsa Love,
                     Angel

Jose Marti
Member

since 2000-07-01

Posts 374
washing DC

7 posted 2000-10-06 12:24 PM

damn, this poem is so lsick. I love the content. I can almost see the class struggle here.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

8 posted 2000-10-06 02:11 PM

Well tank youz for all of yer repliez. Very much appreciated. Long live the Queen? Rrrrrrrrright........

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

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