navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #3 » At a loss...
Teen Poetry #3
Post A Reply Post New Topic At a loss... Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl

0 posted 2000-10-04 03:47 PM


Live to cling; prevailing obsessions born.
Eternal sadness, whisked away; briefly.
Understood by few, not even by thyself.
Find him, want him... suffocate him selfishly.

Wishing for a way... to live alone; happily.
This, a feat impossible, thy soul unwilling to comply.
Running far away, before burning again.
Tempted, shamed, hurt... why repeat past doings?

Trust him; yet he bites thy hand ruthlessly.
Run away; only pulled back magnetically.
Ludicrous and fruitless; these things may never change.
Missing him, needing him- existing lonlieness overpowers.

© Copyright 2000 Jennifer Parker - All Rights Reserved
Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
1 posted 2000-10-04 04:15 PM


Okay, guys this is a bit different for me... tell me what you think.
Jenn

"He's mastered the art, of looking sincere, his eyes have a way, of making you stay, don't look in the mirror"- Chely Wright

curlygurly
Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 276
USA
2 posted 2000-10-04 04:21 PM


This was a good poem, a little dark and depressing like but still well-written. It was a little difficult to comprehend but i got the just of what you were writing about.  
Curlz


"i've kissed the moon a million times, danced with the angels in the sky"
enrique iglesias


Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2000-10-04 08:01 PM


Hey yea well this was dif. but good. I liked it.




I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.


Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
4 posted 2000-10-05 06:12 AM


Excellent Jenn! Wonderful language used here,  and the pattern throughout your words flows beautifully. I like the same feel/style used in the last line of each verse.  Please do try more of this style ... exceptional poem Jenn!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

TAP2
Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 211
Morris, Il USA
5 posted 2000-10-05 10:22 AM


Impressive! But now that we all know that you're capable of writing this style, we'll be expecting more.

Thomas

Let not a word go unspoken,
A thought go unheard,
Let not one heart be broken
Dream of a perfect world.

-Th.A.P.

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2000-10-05 10:31 AM


Simply Amazing.  This is probably your best work so far.  The format/style of this poem is totally different from the rest that you've written.  I'm loving it.   keep writing

"Wishing for a way... to live alone; happily.
This, a feat impossible, thy soul unwilling to comply.
Running far away, before burning again.
Tempted, shamed, hurt... why repeat past doings?"

I love this stanza



I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR


Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
7 posted 2000-10-05 03:46 PM


I also like this style a lot.  Very well written poem, I like it Jenn!
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #3 » At a loss...

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary