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Teen Poetry #3
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emptyness
Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 95
mobile,Ala,USA

0 posted 2000-10-03 08:45 PM


am i a fool
could i really be this stupid
is it possible to venture this deep into insanity

i knew the outcome of my action
i knew it good and well
i knew it was a deth sentence

so why did i do it
did i think i would be wrong
am i a fool




"scribere iussit amor" love commanded me to write
"Cogito ergo sum"-I think, therefore I exist



© Copyright 2000 emptyness - All Rights Reserved
Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
1 posted 2000-10-03 08:50 PM


Am I the first here too?? Well, good work my friend, You are never so lost you can't eventually make your way back, remember to keep trying!!
Keep writing!
Jenn


"He's mastered the art, of looking sincere, his eyes have a way, of making you stay, don't look in the mirror"- Chely Wright

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
2 posted 2000-10-04 02:51 PM


emptyness- I like this one because it has a feeling of desperation behind it, a need.  It's great use of emotion.  
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2000-10-04 03:48 PM


You know that phrase "do or die"...well yea this is like the negative version of the outcome. You did it because you didn't know what COULD HAVE happened. You went for it...all or bust..... and you got busted, you died.....and this is the negativity that happened in the end. I liked the poem. great job!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.


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