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Teen Poetry #3
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peanogrl83
Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202


0 posted 2000-10-03 03:43 PM


Hey everybody!!! I'm just back from a little coupla month trip, so I'm going to start trying to reply to everyone's poems! (just in case you were wondering why I haven't been around.. .lol)  Here's another horrid piece from me....

Vreni


The Looking Glass


I had a dream, once, of what could be
A looking glass of hope, when I was free.
With a piercing shatter, the mirror did break
A fallacy, a lie, Misjudgment’s mistake.
I see your face as the slivers shimmer
Pensive eyes, but a smile glimmers
You fall to your knees, cut your hands
As you falter repairing your broken plans
The shattered pieces won’t yield to your will
Remain apart, in fragments, separate still.
Examining the remnants, you gasp with fear
You finally see through the broken mirror.
Motivations, black orb, a haunting vision
Inconspicuous, unmasked, is it’s precision.
Calculating machine, as cold as the glass,
Doubt filled chasms on a faceted mass.
It reaches through its reflection as you scream
Engulfing your innocence, your fairly tale schemes.
Drawing you in, preying hungrily on trust,
Consumes your ideals, turns your convictions to dust.
All this I observe from my perch in our bed,
As I look in your eyes, and see my reflection instead.


© Copyright 2000 peanogrl83 - All Rights Reserved
Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
1 posted 2000-10-03 04:44 PM


Am I the first?? Well definitly a good piece here. I'm kinda depressed cause I believed I had a large vocabulary... and yet, sometimes I'm not understanding all that you say!
Oh well, that's just me!! Keep writing, I look forward to more.
Jenn

"He's mastered the art, of looking sincere, his eyes have a way, of making you stay, don't look in the mirror"- Chely Wright

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
2 posted 2000-10-04 02:26 PM


Welcome Back
I like the peom a lot and will be waiting for more

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2000-10-04 03:42 PM


hi, yes well welcome back even though we haven't met. I'm Javier. This poem was great. I liked it a lot.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.


peanogrl83
Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202

4 posted 2000-10-04 06:44 PM


Jenn - I've been reading your work, your grasp of vocab. seems to be just fine, so don't you worry! lol

Lakewalker - Thanks for the wb and comments!

Dopey/Javier - Splendid to meet you, thanks for replying!!


Vreni

Singer1981
Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 148
Fredonia, NY USA
5 posted 2000-10-05 12:57 PM


Vren,
  So i stop in...thinking about posting this poem I just wrote...and there's your name.  I didn't realize you were still posting here...now I have to catch up on all your work!  Anyways...fantastic job as always!  Email me sometime.  I miss you terribly!
Sars

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
6 posted 2000-10-05 09:42 PM


That was absolutely vibrant and special in its own way. The word selection and various rhymes collaborated perfectly in my eyes. Keep it up and hope to hear many more poems from you. Welcome back!

Love,
Jeremy

"I will know where I'm headed, 'cause I'm so tired of the suffering,
I stand before you, a weakened version of your reflection."
~DMX~ "Prayer III"

peanogrl83
Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202

7 posted 2000-10-06 11:29 PM


Sars- Yep, I'm still here.  Working through some not so fun emotional distress at the moment (which I shall talk to you soon about!) But thanks for the compliments! You're too sweet, as always! :.P Anyhoo, I miss ya too, I'll tty soon! Catch ya later!

Jeremy - OHhhh, STOP! (you sure know how to make a poet blush :.P) Glad you liked it, though :.)

Vreni

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