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Teen Poetry #3
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Confusion
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Confusion |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Oh YUCK!! If ONLY I could write!! lol Vreni Confusion Desperately churning, it whirringly blends The heartstrings of reason it plucks and offends Leaving but chaos and discord behind, Bringing more darkness to Justice blind. Its presence is feared by the best of men, The greatest and worst of Intellectual sin. Inconspicuously materialized, yet easily discerned, Logic and rationale sacrificially burned. By nature it shows no preference in choice, It surrounds with its essence, steals the voice. Paralyzing the mind, it slowly gains control Arresting the heart mid-beat, then the soul. Replacing acumen with its own creation It injects spite, rage, bitter isolation. Inverting personalities, it now commands Complete attention and energy it demands. The cognitive mind brightly explodes, tender Nobly self-destructs rather than surrender. But the remaining shreds nourish the intruder not, In it’s own destructive trap it is finally caught. Losing its grip on the slippery rocks of sanity, It returns its victim to the arms of humanity. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Wow! Powerful writing! What do you mean "if only you could write" ... this was excellent Peanogr! Wonderful command of language in this piece, and very fluid. I liked your thoughts here, very well done!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
No kidding! What's this "if only i could write" stuff?? Hun you're awesome, i realy liked this. dont be afraid to post more becaue i cant wait to read another. keep up the great work!! ~!*DQ*!~ "One fine day you'll look at me and know that love was meant to be" ~Carol King |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
what an absolutely beautiful portrait of confusion! amazing writing. i loved the flow, and you used some uncommon words without breaking stride. quite a feat, in both content and rhythm. Everyone's got their demons. We all got somethin' to atone for. |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
This is a long, very thought out piece. I loved the verbiage, all the while keeping it in step. It flowed well. Lovin it... you can definitly write. Jenn< !signature--> "He's mastered the art, of looking sincere, his eyes have a way, of making you stay, don't look in the mirror"- Chely Wright [This message has been edited by Jenn Cirrincione (edited 10-03-2000).] |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
 )Vreni |
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shadydaze Member
since 2000-10-02
Posts 85 |
YUCK! this poem is so botched! i guess i am too because i think its great |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
This got me thinking, but I'm.....confused. Not really I love this poem! I could just see this happening:"Paralyzing the mind, it slowly gains control Arresting the heart mid-beat, then the soul" Great writing here, quit being so hard on yourself! |
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Singer1981 Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 148Fredonia, NY USA |
Vren- Have more confidence in yourself! Your poems are always amazing...you never seem to be at a loss for words Wonderful once again...Sars |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Shady, Lakewalker, and Sars - thanks for replying, and thanks for the vote of confidence, though I still maintain I can't write..... lol. Vreni |
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