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safe haven
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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safe haven |
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shadydaze Member
since 2000-10-02
Posts 85 |
fly high little sparrow with the pretty blue eyes as high as the sun that's set in the skies gracefully soar in your passionate way amongst beautiful clouds that watch over the day you're free and you're wild liberty's child then comes the winds fly little sparrow as fast as you can hurry and flee from the ravaging winds seek out your shelter from the thunder and rain hide from the storm that brings in the pain back to your cubby back to your den never get caught in the stormclouds again rest in the emptiness find comfort alone behind the cage bars safe in your home rest little sparrow alone in your cage safe from the chaos of the storms violent rage sleep little sparrow dusk will come soon then twinkles the stars then glimmers the moon |
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| © Copyright 2000 shadydaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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sweetstuff101 Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375OK, USA |
that was great!! Keep writing! luv, SweetStuff ~*~y0u CaN tRy 2 ErAsE s0mEoNe Fr0m YoUr LiFe, BuT iF tHeY rEaLLy MeAnT s0mEtHiNg 2 y0u, YoU WiLl NeVeR 4gEt ThEm.~*~ |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Shadydaze~ Well this is the first post I have read by you so Welcome to Passions!!!I hope that you enjoy it here...Good poem...I liked it...Cant wait to see more!!! It TaKeS a MiNuTe To LiKe SoMeOnE, aN hOuR tO hAvE a CrUsH oN sOmEoNe & A dAy To FaLl In LoVe, BuT iT tAkEs A lIfEtImE tO fOrGeT sOmEoNe. |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I like this a lot, it's a great poem. It flows good and is written well. I really like this stanza: "back to your cubby back to your den never get caught in the stormclouds again" |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey! Great work. I really like that stanza that Lakewalker mentioned. Keep it up. ~Carly Better days are on the way, my friend, just a ways on down the line. I believe that just around the bend, everythings gonna be fine... |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is a wonderful piece! It's wonderful to have a haven... someplace where nothing can touch you. You describe it well. Keep up the great work!  False gems may shine as brightly as the genuine article, but there are always those who can tell the difference. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
This is really well written. A change in pace in Passions "you're free and you're wild liberty's child" I love this line. keep writing I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was extremely great....i loved it. Simply loved it!!!!!!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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