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Teen Poetry #3
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shadydaze
Member
since 2000-10-02
Posts 85


0 posted 2000-10-02 04:46 AM



fly high little sparrow
with the pretty blue eyes
as high as the sun
that's set in the skies

gracefully soar
in your passionate way
amongst beautiful clouds
that watch over the day

you're free
and you're wild
liberty's child

then comes the winds

fly little sparrow
as fast as you can
hurry and flee
from the ravaging winds

seek out your shelter
from the thunder and rain
hide from the storm
that brings in the pain

back to your cubby
back to your den
never get caught
in the stormclouds again

rest in the emptiness
find comfort alone
behind the cage bars
safe in your home

rest little sparrow
alone in your cage
safe from the chaos
of the storms violent rage

sleep little sparrow
dusk will come soon
then twinkles the stars
then glimmers the moon



© Copyright 2000 shadydaze - All Rights Reserved
sweetstuff101
Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375
OK, USA
1 posted 2000-10-02 07:28 AM


that was great!! Keep writing!

luv, SweetStuff


~*~y0u CaN tRy 2 ErAsE s0mEoNe Fr0m YoUr LiFe, BuT iF tHeY rEaLLy MeAnT s0mEtHiNg 2 y0u, YoU WiLl NeVeR 4gEt ThEm.~*~



Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
2 posted 2000-10-02 12:38 PM


Shadydaze~
Well this is the first post I have read by you so Welcome to Passions!!!I hope that you enjoy it here...Good poem...I liked it...Cant wait to see more!!!


It TaKeS a MiNuTe To LiKe SoMeOnE, aN hOuR tO hAvE a CrUsH oN sOmEoNe & A dAy To FaLl In LoVe, BuT iT tAkEs A lIfEtImE tO fOrGeT sOmEoNe.

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
3 posted 2000-10-02 02:36 PM


I like this a lot, it's a great poem.  It flows good and is written well.  I really like this stanza:
"back to your cubby
back to your den
never get caught
in the stormclouds again"



Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
4 posted 2000-10-02 03:19 PM



  Hey! Great work. I really like that stanza that Lakewalker mentioned. Keep it up.

   ~Carly

Better days are on the way, my friend, just a ways on down the line.
I believe that just around the bend, everythings gonna be fine...

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

5 posted 2000-10-02 03:19 PM


This is a wonderful piece! It's wonderful to have a haven... someplace where nothing can touch you. You describe it well. Keep up the great work!  

False gems may shine as brightly as the genuine article, but there are always those who can tell the difference.



Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2000-10-02 03:38 PM


This is really well written. A change in pace in Passions

"you're free
and you're wild
liberty's child"

I love this line. keep writing  



I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR


Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2000-10-02 08:00 PM


This was extremely great....i loved it. Simply loved it!!!!!!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.


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