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Teen Poetry #3
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The Jackal
Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 426
Springfield, Massachusetts U.S.A

0 posted 2000-09-25 12:09 PM


see through afternoon breeze
see through to gain your release

just then     where were you?
just where were  you..
(a place where you get what you deserve
a place where you are what you need)

what was it you wanted to make work
and was  it really neccesary
to feel this way
to hear the things
the supposed love of your life will say

and i know
this backseat view
is unlimited  and cruel

i hate to observe
i hate to play witness

to a decaying bondage

" refuse to name names"
"refuse to take blame"

do we really need another cannibal
another halfhearted apology
    
a child in love with his sickness
a woman who can't learn to leave

another tragedy that was   never meant  to be


"you can have my isolation..you can have the hate that it brings
you can have my absence of faith..you can have my everything"

"so impressed with all you do..tried so hard to be like you..flew too high and burnt the wing..lost my faith in everything"

"I am too connected to you to
Slip away, to fade away.
Days away I still feel you
Touching me, changing me,
And considerately killing me."

The Jackal


© Copyright 2000 John Dixon - All Rights Reserved
Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
1 posted 2000-09-25 03:32 PM



  Hey there. Wow...this was so deep I barely understood all of it. Another one of those pieces that ya have to read four times to understand...I loved it.

   ~Carly


Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2000-09-25 08:21 PM


I truly enjoyed this poem. It's a very modern style and i like it. I enjoyed every line of it, keep it up



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.


Ender
Member
since 1999-12-08
Posts 200
Yuma, AZ USA
3 posted 2000-09-25 10:28 PM


Your style is very nice.  I enjoyed reading this alot.  Every line worked with the next.  Keep up the good work/.

*Blonde people are normal. Everyone else is just strange. -Ender*

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