navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #3 » Now You Don't
Teen Poetry #3
Post A Reply Post New Topic Now You Don't Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A

0 posted 2000-09-21 03:45 AM




Now You Don't

Shut your eyes.
Open wide.
Still the truth
of me will hide.
Rub them now.
Squint so tight.
May I laugh
as you fight?
What was that,
that you saw!?
It was there....
now it's gone.
Ingorance,
I thus see...
struggle you
to find me.
I am with you,
you're alone.
Now you see me,
now you don't.

---Jeremy D. Halstead   9-21-00

"I work for the weekend, but it never works for me".

< !signature-->

Curse not upon love, for it is the greatest of great things.  Be it not love that curses you....but thy lack thereof.     -J.D.H.



[This message has been edited by Jeremy Halstead (edited 09-21-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Jeremy D. Halstead - All Rights Reserved
L.A&A
New Member
since 2000-09-21
Posts 2

1 posted 2000-09-21 03:50 AM


Hey... not you shabby me friend...cool rhythm.

David


Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2000-09-21 07:58 AM


Loved the format Jeremy ... it fit perfectly with your theme! Well done!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
3 posted 2000-09-21 08:50 AM


Jeremy~~~Have I told you how amazing you are???Well you are...This was really good...You have quite a talent my friend...Keep it up!!!

*Falling in love is when you give someone a piece of your heart, falling out of love is when the piece doesnt fit*

Jacman
Member
since 2000-06-27
Posts 291
Dwight Il, US
4 posted 2000-09-21 11:44 AM


Is this poem about how crappy this last weekend was.  Because I actually had alot of fun Sat. night.  Anyway, I know exactly what you are saying in this one.

jason

I'm not concieted...I'm convinced.

TAP2
Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 211
Morris, Il USA
5 posted 2000-09-22 11:32 AM


Liked it alot. Keep it up.

Thomas

Let not a word go unspoken,
A thought go unheard,
Let not one heart be broken
Dream of a perfect world.

-Th.A.P.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
6 posted 2000-09-22 02:14 PM


I liked this format and style a lot. I started to write like this recently myself. Keep it up, i loved this poem.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.


StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932
Colorado
7 posted 2000-09-22 09:24 PM


How many more ways can there be to say how much I enjoyed?!?! I've said every possible way...at least I think. So I leave you with a *sigh* and a You are so talented and I wish I was that talented and all those good things. Keep it up and umm...whatever else I say.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
~*~Star~*~
p.s. Is it that obvious that I am almost green with envy?!?  
< !signature-->

~*~sMiLe! It MaKeS yOuR bUtT ShInE~*~



[This message has been edited by StarPryncess17 (edited 09-22-2000).]
Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
8 posted 2000-09-23 09:34 PM


I won't act like I really know what this means but when I did read it I swore up and down I knew..but you told me earlier you have no clue where it came from..hrm subconscience? it has a funny way of telling you things you are not aware of..happens to me all the time and then well err n/m..but lovely lovely lovely..what else can I possibly say?

"Let me be the one you call, if you jump I'll break your fall, lift you up and fly away with you into the night"

~Crash and Burn~

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #3 » Now You Don't

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary